Flyer people

Man with clipboard: Do you want to change the Constitution?
Lady passerby: No.
Man with clipboard: I’ll take that as a ‘yes’!

–57th & 7th

Overheard by: Charlie

Dude on cell: If he wrote a fucking haiku I would shit myself!

–50th b/w 8th & 9th

Hip dude: I was like: “Your voice is drowning me in a wave of bullshit.”

–W 4th

Customer to associate: Where can I pay for this shit?

–Apple Store, 5th Ave

Suit on cell: No, I have IBS. IBS! Ya know, Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I’ll shit when I gotta shit, and that’s the way this is gonna go!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual

am New York paper guy: Get your free am New York! They’re free because their employees get paid shit!

–53rd & 7th Ave

Guy in fur coat handing out fur sale brochures: Sale! Sale!
Tourist girl with lollipop: Animal killer!
Guy in fur coat: You’re killing that lollipop!

–7th Ave & 25th St

Overheard by: furry

Flyer guy: Want to see a comedy show? It’s hilarious!
(passers‐by ignore him)
Flyer guy: Okay, good talk.
Hipster girl: (giggles)
Flyer guy: Oh! You like laughing, want to see a comedy show?
Hipster girl: No. I’m not a fucking tourist, leave me alone.

–Times Square

Overheard by: not a tourist

Comedy club promoter: Hey, you guys want free beers and some laughs?
Teen tourists’ chaperone: They’re underage.
Comedy club promoter: How about free sodas and a few giggles?

–Outside Hilton Theatre

Overheard by: Amused Teenage Tourist

Comedy promoter: Come on! Great show — you know you want to come!
Tourist girl: No, thanks, I’m good. C
Comedy promoter: Come on! We have midget strippers!

–Times Square

Thin white guy, handing out show fliers: You like white people?
Huge black guy wearing leather jacket: Why, yes I do!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Hanna

L. Ron Hubtard: Do you have stress?
Man: I live in New York, what the fuck do you think? “Do I have stress?” Fuck you.

–Times Square station

Overheard by: ichi gami

Comedy flyer guy: Come see a comedy show, best in the city!
Thug, passing by quickly: I hate this fuckin city.

–Times Square

Overheard by: CF

Flyers girl: Hi, would you like to come to a party?
Guy: No, thanks.
Flyers girl: Why do people keep lying to me?
Guy: I’m not a person.

–14th & Broadway

Overheard by: Will Person