Petition guy: Hi, are you a registered Democrat?
Dude: No, sex offender.
–20th & 1st
Petition guy: Hi, are you a registered Democrat?
Dude: No, sex offender.
–20th & 1st
Charity mugger: Do you have a minute for the environment?
Guy: What?
Charity mugger: Do you have a minute for the environment?
Guy: What?
Charity mugger: We’re working to reduce mercury pollution.
Guy: Sorry, I don’t like planet Earth english.
–Broadway between Canal & Howard
Flyer guy: Hey, wanna see a comedy show? (two snotty girls ignore him) Hey, you like to laugh?
Snotty girls: No!
Flyer guy: Ah, you're miserable. Heading back to Staten Island?
–Times Square
Man with clipboard: Do you want to change the Constitution?
Lady passerby: No.
Man with clipboard: I’ll take that as a ‘yes’!
–57th & 7th
Overheard by: Charlie
Dude on cell: If he wrote a fucking haiku I would shit myself!
–50th b/w 8th & 9th
Hip dude: I was like: "Your voice is drowning me in a wave of bullshit."
–W 4th
Customer to associate: Where can I pay for this shit?
–Apple Store, 5th Ave
Suit on cell: No, I have IBS. IBS! Ya know, Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I’ll shit when I gotta shit, and that’s the way this is gonna go!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual
am New York paper guy: Get your free am New York! They’re free because their employees get paid shit!
–53rd & 7th Ave
Guy in fur coat handing out fur sale brochures: Sale! Sale!
Tourist girl with lollipop: Animal killer!
Guy in fur coat: You’re killing that lollipop!
–7th Ave & 25th St
Overheard by: furry
Flyer guy: Want to see a comedy show? It's hilarious!
(passers-by ignore him)
Flyer guy: Okay, good talk.
Hipster girl: (giggles)
Flyer guy: Oh! You like laughing, want to see a comedy show?
Hipster girl: No. I'm not a fucking tourist, leave me alone.
–Times Square
Overheard by: not a tourist
Comedy club promoter: Hey, you guys want free beers and some laughs?
Teen tourists’ chaperone: They’re underage.
Comedy club promoter: How about free sodas and a few giggles?
–Outside Hilton Theatre
Overheard by: Amused Teenage Tourist
Comedy promoter: Come on! Great show — you know you want to come!
Tourist girl: No, thanks, I’m good. C
Comedy promoter: Come on! We have midget strippers!
–Times Square
Thin white guy, handing out show fliers: You like white people?
Huge black guy wearing leather jacket: Why, yes I do!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Hanna
