Little girl: Mommy, I gotta go diarrhea!
Mom: Not all poo-poo is diarrhea, you know.
–Museum of Natural History
Little girl: Mommy, I gotta go diarrhea!
Mom: Not all poo-poo is diarrhea, you know.
–Museum of Natural History
Father: Oh, you mean hummus. Hamas is a terrorist organization.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Daniel Radosh
Man on stoop on cell: Son, it sounds like you got yourself an STD.
–Windsor Terrace
Overheard by: LaurenG
Dad: Now don’t go getting lost again. It cost me a lot of money to get you back last time.
–Bronx Zoo
Father: It was because of nuclear proliferation. All the dinosaurs shot nukes at each other.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: JB
Man: The last time a bird pooped on me I met your mother.
–Central Park Zoo
Boy: Mom, can we buy these cookies?
Mom: No honey, we cannot.
Boy: Why? Because they have carbohyboraties in them? Mom, you’re scared of carbohyboraties, aren’t you?
–Gristede’s, UWS
Girl: Look! Cantaloupes! Mom! Look at the cantaloupes!
Mom: No dear, cantaloupes are a fruit. These are antelopes.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Sarah Glazer
Child: Is this really what the Vikings’ houses looked like?
Mother: No, they didn’t have wood back then.
–Viking exhibit, Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Trees? What trees?
Boy staring at dinosaur fossil: Dude, these animals died a lot.
Friend: Word.
–Museum of Natural History
Guy #1: There’s a dodo bird.
Chick: Didn’t all the Quakers kill them out?
Guy #2: Yeah, with those big guns that looked like trumpets.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Black woman in trashy outfit: And he said "But the party just started, bitch, I'll take you in a few hours!" and I was like, "Nigga please! My water just broke!"
–Lower East Side
Asian bimbo on cell: I just spoke to Percy and allegedly they threw a party after we were fired, to celebrate us getting fired…but we're people too.
–181 & St Nicholas
Overheard by: must not have liked you
Hipster girl: My all-time dream is to be shot by the cobra snake at a party, with a cig in my hand and Paul* between my thighs.
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Dayn
Tattooed guy on iPhone: Yeah, I'm bringing a 250-foot Slip 'N Slide!
–7th & 13th St
Overheard by: can I come to that party?
Loud man on cell: Yo, son! Why didn't you invite to your party? Damn…c'mon! Remember that time the chick in a wheelchair was working us in the cab? Yeah, she was in a wheelchair! Remember we got a cab for her and put her in the cab? That's right–that was me! She was giving us both head.
–BBQ Restroom, 8th Ave, Chelsea
20-something woman: Wait…when is it a rule to give the host a handjob?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Jazz
Mom, reading about unicorns to ten-year-old son: The unicorn was a symbol of Christ, its head in the virgin Mary’s lap…
Son: Wait, wait, wait! Mary was a virgin?!
–Museum of Natural History, Mythic Creatures Exhibit
Mother to child in front of diorama of pilgrims and Native Americans: Well, that's because the Indians never met real people before.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Peter R.
Young girl, arriving through train tunnel at Grand Central Station: I wonder if Harriet Tubman is down here.
–Grand Central Station
Airhead: I think like… Colonialization is like… The umbrella theme of, like… Diplomacy.
–Pommes Frites
History teacher, about Andrew Jackson: He tight, he kill mad people, he buggin'.
–High School
Teacher, discussing Thomas Jefferson's mistress: You see, guys? History is exciting! It's full of sex!
–High School, Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: SzN31
Little white boy to frustrated black nanny who is trying to hail a cab: My daddy always gets a taxi!
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Dan
Little boy: This place is like a dead zoo.
–American Museum of Natural History
Four-year-old boy: Yo, this sofa is mad comfy!
–Used Furniture Store, Staten Island
Four-year-old boy: That’s enough, I’m calling Interpol!
–A Train
Overheard by: Swarles
Little girl to mom after terrible Skyride attraction: Mommy, can we never do this again?
(random guy behind her starts laughing) Stop it! Stop laughing at me!
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Claire
Eight-year-old boy: This museum is inappropriate.
–The Metropolitan Museum of Art, Greek & Roman Sculpture Wing
Overheard by: Taylor
