Native girl #1: Fuck you.
Native girl #2, annoyed: You piss me off to my titties.


Overheard by: pissed off

Little boy: No! But Daddy, I want you to spank me!

Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado

These People Are Everywhere

Thugette: I ain’t talking to you no more!
Thug: Well, let me ask you a question — about you.
Thugette: Alright.
Thug: What you heard about me?!

Downtown Mall
Charlottesville, Virginia

Girl: Yeah, like, the day after I got back I was on St. Laurent Street and I saw a used condom on the sidewalk. It was like the city was saying, ‘Welcome home!’


Semi-drunk girl in pub crawl attire: I hate Windex, but I fuckin' love Febreze!


Overheard by: History Major

Man #1: I hate the Middle East.
Man #2: Yeah. We should just nuke that island.

Overheard by: amazed and frightened

Dude to friends: He was a fiend, I tell you! He’s a fiend in woman’s form.

University of Liverpool
United Kingdom

Stoner teen girl watching seals: If I ever turn into an animal, I hope I’m not a seal.
Friend: Why?
Stoner teen girl: ‘Cause just look at the poor things — it’s so hard for them to, like, move. They just wobble everywhere. No legs to help them. I feel so bad for them.

Camden Aquarium
Camden, New Jersey

Overheard by: maryjane

Girl to friends: Fuck Europe! I got Tanzania all up on my ass!

Atlanta, Georgia

Little boy: I don’t like your rules, Mommy!
Mom: They aren’t my rules, honey, they’re America’s rules.

Austin, Texas