Maintenance worker #1: Yo! I need the keys to apartment 17K!
Maintenance worker #2: Isn't that the dead guy's apartment?
–Chelsea
Maintenance worker #1: Yo! I need the keys to apartment 17K!
Maintenance worker #2: Isn't that the dead guy's apartment?
–Chelsea
Glum construction worker, singing slowly: We will…we will…not get paid.
–Caton Place
Overheard by: Cottonfluff
Hardhat to another: You got a rash on yo ass, know what I'm sayin?
–12th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: j
Construction worker to friends, watching girl in a bubble dress walk down the street: Damn, yo, I hate those skirts, yo. That's the stupidest shit I ever seen.
–13th St & 5th Ave
Construction worker to group of girls walking past, carrying food bags: Want to grab lunch?
(girls ignore him) Dinner? Breakfast? (girls continue to ignore him, so he yells at them) Just a snack, then?
–Prince Street
Overheard by: Courtney Messer
Eastern European construction worker to pigeon: You! Yes, hey you! Eat this! Is good for you! Will put hair on your balls! Yes, eat, eat!
–23rd & 1st
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Construction worker #1 (yelling): We got one big one and two little ones!
Construction worker #2: What? One what?
Construction worker #1: One big one, like your sister!
–Spring St & Crosby St
(construction man #1 is peeing at the urinal. Construction man #2 is inside a stall)
Construction man #2: This is the place where all the dicks hang out, eh? Haha.
Construction man #1: Do these things flush by themselves, then?
Construction man #2: Yeah, man, you're taking a shit and you don't even get to see the turd sitting there.
Construction man #1: Whoosh!
Construction man #2: It just gets sucked away. You don't get to see the tapeworms, or whatever freaky crap is in there this time.
–Basement, NYU Tisch Film School
Overheard by: Knoll
Construction worker taking coffee order: I don't think they have what you want at that deli.
Construction worker placing order: They have to have it. This is America, where do you think we are, Alaska?
–Construction Site, Bronx Zoo
Blue-collar guy holding elevator door: Have a good night.
Older professional lady getting off elevator: Peace out.
–Office Building, Park Avenue
Old man: Where are the seat numbers?
Usher: On the right.
Old man: When I’m facing which way?
–Helen Hayes Theater, 44th St
Overheard by: Valerie Z
Employee: The manager made us open the doors, but we don’t have shit. Nothing is ready. [A bunch of employees are frantically putting buns on trays and trays into machines.]Drunk guy, leaning on counter: I want some McGriddles! [Slips and falls.]Employee: Look at you — you can’t even keep your shit from falling over! … If you sue us, I’m going to say you was drunk.
Drunk guy, thoughtfully: You’re right… I’m going to sue you for eight McGriddles!
–McDonald’s, Fulton & Cliff St
Hardhat #1: God don’t care if you wearin’ a choir robe.
Hardhat #2: Tha’s right.
Hardhat #1: God don’t care if you dressed like a priest.
Hardhat #2: Tha’s right.
Hardhat #1: Because God don’t care how you dressed.
–97th & Riverside Dr
Headline by: 6th Floor Blogger
Runners-Up:
· “God Would Prefer That You Remove the Ball-Gag During Communion” – dan
· “That’s Right. But Could You Please Put on Some Pants?” – Babakganoosh
· “The Undiscovered 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Wear Crocs” – Meg
· “To Sum Up: God Loves Strippers.” – RaindanceRichard
MTA worker, holding bucket: Hey! Buddy, did you take a shit over there by that machine?
Hobo, laughing: Not yet!
–A/C/E/L station, 14th & 8th
Overheard by: JayBee
