Promoter guy: Stand-up comedy! Are you interested in seeing some stand-up comedy tonight? Hey, I’m asking you a question.
Dude: Oh, no thanks.
Promoter guy: Oh, well, we also have stand-up misery.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Adam Robbins
Promoter guy: Stand-up comedy! Are you interested in seeing some stand-up comedy tonight? Hey, I’m asking you a question.
Dude: Oh, no thanks.
Promoter guy: Oh, well, we also have stand-up misery.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Adam Robbins
Girl #1: I don’t know what kind of atmosphere! I just want something professional and sophisticated.
Girl #2: “Professional” and “sophisticated”. Excuse me while I go smoke an L in an alley behind the stock exchange.
–14th & 9th
Black guy: I just really don’t wanna go to prison in Africa.
White guy: Of course. And, if at any time you feel like that might be a possibility, the operation comes to a close. I value you and your sweet virgin ass and unslit throat over some cheap pot.
Black guy: That’s how I know you’re a real friend.
–Parking lot, LaGuardia
Overheard by: slightly confused
Kid, looking at $0.25 soda: Man! These be $0.50 in Queens!
Dad: Yeah, that’s why you gotta come to the Boogie Down Bronx.
–Deli, Taylor Ave
Overheard by: vegannramember
Trendy girl: I mean, I like her as a person, I just don’t like what she does with my hair.
–Max, Ave. B
Guy on cell: Listen man, he’s Trump. We can put his name on anything and they’ll buy it. Put his fucking face on a fucking bottle of water and they’ll fucking buy it!
–28th St. and Park Avenue
Overheard by: G Varod
Woman on cell: There’s only one word for this party. And it is “epic.”
–CPW and 110th St.
Businesschick: You have to learn to say no to those aggressive French men!
Businessman: Do I really?
Businesschick: No, I’m just kidding.
–Midtown Office
Fat guy: Just because you have a bus pass doesn’t mean you can go to the liquor store while I wait.
Small Asian girlfriend: Here, have a devil dog.
–Grand & Greene Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: megan m
Mother to preschool-aged child: That's the New York Stock Exchange. That's where we lose all our money.
–Outside NYSE
Overheard by: Angel
Man to four-shoe-pair-buying wife: It's people like you who confuse the economists.
–Macy's
Toll booth operator to chick in car during rush hour: So, what's your take on the economy these days?
–Verrazano Bridge
Young dudes, watching suits take Queens train at 9 am: Oooh! They got fired.
–7 Train
Overheard by: Only in Brooklyn
Woman buying camping equipment: Hi, I was wondering if you have any sleeping bags.
Clerk: Um, this is New York, we're not so big on camping. Is this for a photo shoot?
–Army Surplus Store
Jamaican lady: You fucker! I sell drugs for the Police. They call them dealers because they make deals. I made a deal. Do you pay me? Am I your employee? Fuck you, brush your teeth!
–F train
Overheard by: z0mb13
Guy on cell: I’m off today. I ran over one of the kids with the bus.
–72nd & 1st
Overheard by: Todd Horan
Trader: I’m almost wishing to come back in my next life as the Jewish wife of a Jewish husband.
–Madison Avenue office
Man on cell: She’s got a summer job editing Harlequin romance novels. Yeah, which goes so well with…you know…her divinity degree.
–118th & Broadway
Security guard: One of my feet has five fingers less than the other one, but I don’t claim disability. I work three jobs: model, actor and security guard, I’m not stopping until I make fifty-two million.
–F train
Overheard by: Nico Westerdale
Store chick: I’m just sampling the food so I can explain to customers why it’s so expensive.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: jexe
