Mother with little girl: Excuse me. My daughter wants to know if you’re a pirate.
Woman wearing bandana: No. I’m just a lesbian.
–Crema Restaurante, 17th & 6th
Mother with little girl: Excuse me. My daughter wants to know if you’re a pirate.
Woman wearing bandana: No. I’m just a lesbian.
–Crema Restaurante, 17th & 6th
Lesbian #1: Shh, don’t say that! Call it ordering out.
Lesbian #2: Okay, fine. We haven’t ordered out much lately, but do you still want to have sex with me?
–Q train
Girl on cell: We got Chinese cable because it was cheaper than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve already seen, I don’t need to actually know what they’re saying.
–N train, Astoria
Queer, on cell: Have you seen Victoria’s boyfriend lately? He looks great. She’s better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
–Eckerd, Astoria
Mother, to kids: Sorry we just missed the fireworks, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case.
–79th St entrance, FDR
Tourist, after eagerly struggling for camera air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it only airs today.
–Taping of the Today Show, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Stephen and Allison
Girl: Well, today they had a woman who was born a man who married a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Maury Povich!
–New York Public Library
Overheard by: Actually READING at the Library
Guy: Sweet Sixteen? That show makes me understand terrorism.
–114th & Broadway
Queer to hippie chick: I read what you wrote, and it totally made me want to do mushrooms with you.
–T Salon Emporium, 20th & Broadway
Girl: I wish I could bleach my brain.
–F train
Overheard by: Braincurve
Guy #1 to guy #2: Those sunglasses look really good on you. They go nicely with your complexion.
Guy #3: That was an amazingly Fab Five moment.
–Bronx Science
Instructor: Mr. Hispanic man, talk to me. How do you like touching?
Student: I love it.
Instructor: How about a man touching you?
Student: Even better.
–Brooklyn College classroom
Overheard by: dp
Man, speaking on his cell phone: “I’m going to watch the Gay Superbowl tonight.”
– Streetcorner in Cobble Hill
Drunk queer: I’m not a fucking asshole! Just because I said I didn’t like Shania Twain, I’m an asshole?!
–11th & 3rd
Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis
these days.
–3rd between B & C
Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience.
–124th & Manhattan
Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer
Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chasing me around like I’m an ice cream cone.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Squatporpoise
Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sunday? He lets me watch him have sex with boys.
–NYU School of social work
Overheard by: Maggie
College girl: I think I’m going to have sex with him.
Queer: Really? Why?
College girl: Because I’m 20.
Queer: What’s his name?
College girl: Ummm…
Queer: Nice, real nice. You’re a class act.
College girl: I still have at least three years before I have to worry about being classy.
–X10 express bus
