Chick: Do you trust me with your CDs? I’ll try not to scratch them or anything.
Dude: I trust you with my balls. I think I’m OK with you touching my CDs.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Djlindee
Chick: Do you trust me with your CDs? I’ll try not to scratch them or anything.
Dude: I trust you with my balls. I think I’m OK with you touching my CDs.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Djlindee
Guy #1: I had one of the best karaoke experiences of my life the other night.
Guy #2: Seriously?
Guy #1: Oh yeah. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of great karaoke experiences in my life. There has been few times where I’ve gotten up there and did not receive physical pleasure afterwards.
–40th & 3rd
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Guy: I wish they played music in these things so it wouldn’t be so awkward.
–Midtown elevator
Overheard by: Gabe Connor
HS girl: Do you listen to 50 Cent? Oh, my god, he is so good!
HS guy: Do you know what they say when you are listening to 50 Cent?
HS girl: What do they say?
HS guy: What are you listening to when you have two quarters next to your ear?
HS girl: Ha, ha…I don’t get it.
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Ting
Homeboy: Monkeys are just humans who don’t give a shit, that’s all I’m sayin’.
–Park Pizza, 25th St. and Park Ave.
Overheard by: Chadd Derkins
Electrician: The Velvet Underground? Yeah, they was good for a few laughs back in the day.
–Midtown elevator
Overheard by: Michael
Dude: I definitely said, “No abortion jokes at dinner.”
–86th and 2nd
Ballet boy: Is this the Piano Concerto choreographed by Balanchine?
Ballet girl: No.
Ballet boy: Then who is it?
Ballet girl: I don’t know. It’s like…ghetto.
–NYU Skirball Center
Guy: How about The Black Market Babies?
Girl: The Black Market Babies?
Guy: The thing is, there’s already a band called The Backyard Babies. If you know anything about The Backyard Babies, you wouldn’t want to be associated with them.
Girl: Isn’t that who Dana dated?
Guy: No. I got her backstage to meet him. She’s in the dressing room; I used my radio credentials to get her in. He was all ready to make a move and then he started vomiting! That’s when I met Joey Ramone. I was going to complain to Joey but he died shortly after.
–D train
Dude #1: You know, I kinda like Richie Santorum.
Dude #2: Yeah… he’s a pretty good guitarist. Bon Jovi’s alright.
Dude #1: Yep.
–7 train
20-something female shopkeeper to coworker, as Michael Jackson's "Rock with You" plays on the radio: Did you hear he's sick? Apparently, he's in the hospital. I know, it's crazy. Can you imagine if he dies? If he dies, that'll be, like, the most awful thing to happen to America in years!
–Pet Food Store
Overheard by: Nathalie
Suit on cell: What if Michael Jackson sucking your dick was the cure for cancer?
–8th & Broadway
Man, lighting cigarette: So what'd he die from? A sunburn?
–Chambers St. & West Broadway
Middle aged black lady on cell: If you can get Michael Jackson on a condom box it would definitely sell.
–MacDougal & 8th St
Nine-year-old boy, pointing to a newspaper article, to younger sister: Oh yeah, that guy? He was fifty. He used to be a black guy but made himself become white.
–Canal & Orchard, Chinatown
Overheard by: Lauren T.
Large tattooed man, discussing Michael Jackson: One of those kids is his; the other two can't be, they're white. They were all unofficially inseminated, though.
–Delancey & Essex
Douchebag college student to girl: The cop looked at my ID and said "Come on, Mr California!" and I was like: "Mr California? Come on! I’ve been here for like four months!"
–G Train
Overheard by: Guy who puts 4 months to shame
Jersey girl: I don’t do Arkansas.
–Tram to Roosevelt Island
Eight-year-old to uncle: Please don’t move to Connecticut… It’s too hard to spell!
–38th & 2nd Ave
Aging queen to record store clerk: Oivia Newton-John’s fine and all, but she’s like 55 and living in Connecticut, so she lost her edge.
–Rebel Rebel Records: Bleecker and Christopher st.
Suit on cell: Do they make you sterile? Can you have sex? When you’re on the pills, can you have sex? You should go to Utah. They have great sex in Utah. The Mormons are famous for it. I think we should have easter dinner at 4.30 at Fekkai’s.
–43rd St between Madison & 5th
Black man, pulling up his pants while being chased out of the library by two Hispanic security guards: I’m sick of dem Hispanics, man! I’m sick of ’em! I love California.
–New York Public Library, 42nd St branch
Overheard by: Jason
