Woman #1: So, Madonna has a new album out… which, of course, means my herpes are flaring up again…
Woman #2: I know, right?

–South 3rd & Berry, Williamsburg

Young black guy to another: You know, Obama is to politics what Richard Simmons is to exercise.

–PATH Train

Guy standing outside bar: And she was like, "What, like Gary Coleman?" and I'm like, "No, not like fucking Gary Coleman!"

–4th & 10th

Girl to boyfriend: Well, Tom Green only had one testicle. It's totally fine.

–E 11th St

Overheard by: j

Suit on cell: And I was like, "Fuck you, Ryan Cabrera"!

–Bedford & 6th St

Black girl on cell: I told you, we're like the Paris Hiltons of Liberia.

–Borders, Wall St

Overheard by: step

Guy (after taking picture with Jeremy Piven): Damn! I can't put this on MySpace. I'm wearing the same shirt I wore when I met Chazz Palminteri!

–Outside Barrymore Theatre

Overheard by: Pasta…Salad

Little girl, happily: And that's why I want to die.
Father, laughing: Why's that?
Little girl: So I can join the Grateful Dead!

–City Hall

A buppie is parking his BMW, blasting a ’50s rock ‘n roll tune out the window.

Thug: Why a nigga wanna be listenin’ to that shit?

–Brooklyn Heights

Hipster chick: What are you listening to?
Friend: Sarah McLachlan. Are you mad? Sometimes I listen to Jewel too.

–4 Train

Blind panhandler, singing: Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I’m found, was blind but now I see… If you want my body and you think I’m sexy, come on, honey, let me know…

–N train

Overheard by: Dan McInerney

Hispanic man singing loudly to tune of ‘Yellow Submarine’: We all live in your mother’s dungarees, your mother’s dungarees, your mother’s dungarees…

–35th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: CCF

Hobo singing to himself: I want to eat pussy, I want to eat pussy.

–Hudson & Christopher

Overheard by: Someone in a Tree

Street corner freestyler: You can’t send me back like Elian, what the hellian?

–Washington Square

Four-year-old, singing: We in the bed like, ‘Oooh, oooh, oooh, like oooh, oooh, oooh!’

–1 train, 116th St stop

Conductor, rapping: If you hold the doors while the train’s in the station, we will be delayed getting to our destination, and you will find yourself in a situation.

–A train

Overheard by: Ladle

LL Cool J walks by gaggle of middle-aged black ladies, smiling as he passes.

Ladies: Oh my god, oh my god, that’s LL!
Black woman to white woman: You people don’t understand — that was like you white folks seeing Dr. Phil!


Overheard by: Swanny

Lady: Oh my god, I’ve heard this song before!
Patron: It’s all ABBA music, jackass.

Mamma Mia, Winter Garden Theatre

Overheard by: Todd

Chick to guys loudly singing ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ : That song can’t turn you gay!

–Village Halloween Parade

Overheard by: That eavesdropper over there

Chick in stall: Would you ever eat cereal out of my mouth?
Friend in next stall: Well, if I had that background music… Yeah, sure.

–Bathroom, Joe’s Pub