Woman #1: So, Madonna has a new album out… which, of course, means my herpes are flaring up again…
Woman #2: I know, right?
–South 3rd & Berry, Williamsburg
Woman #1: So, Madonna has a new album out… which, of course, means my herpes are flaring up again…
Woman #2: I know, right?
–South 3rd & Berry, Williamsburg
Woman #1: My husband starts law school in august.
Woman #2: Oh? Which one?
Woman #1, rolling eyes: I only have one husband.
–Wedding, Williamsburg
Dominican woman: “…angeles y arcangeles y cherubimes.”…Cuales son cherubimes?
Dominican teen #1: Cherubims? Those are those angel babies, you know, with the wings?
Dominican teen #2: Yeah, like the ones on your shower curtain?
Dominican teen #1: Right.
Dominican woman: Y cuales son arcangeles?
Dominican teen #1: Ohhh…those are those big ones, with the big wings. And they’re older.
–Rosa’s Hair Salon, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Michael Kane
Old woman: Have you seen Charlie?
Guy: No..he said he was gonna check himself into the hospital, and probably stay for a long time.
Old woman: Because I have some food for him…Now Patrick, have you seen Charlie? I have some food for him.
Old man: Charlie done checked hisself into the psycho ward for two months.
Old woman: I guess I gotta throw the food out then.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Heiny Kleist
Dude: You may think you’ve never even met anyone like him, but in reality you’ve never even heard of anyone like him.
Intrigued girl: Uh-huh… Totally.
–Bedford ave, Williamsburg
Svengali-type: Yeah, they’re really into Phenomenology over there, so they can’t really explain anything.
Lolita-type: Wow. Yeah, I’d heard that about them.
–Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Preppy guy: I feel like we should have a New Jack City watching party.
–Bedford Ave & N 7th St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Kate C.
Chick: Have you ever heard of that website, Gawker.com?
–Larry Lawrence, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Fairest
Loud, shit-faced Asian girl to strangers: You want some of this? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love sex. [falls forward, taps stranger on forehead.] herro! Anybody home?! [laughs hysterically].
–Metro North
Drunk chick: Fuck technology, first it kills the bees, now it’s killing my ovaries!
–A Train
Drunk guy: Last night I shit on my balls!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Drunk girl to drunk boyfriend: Well, you fingered me in the cab!
–A Train
Drunk preppy businessman: Just tell her to put the oil in the noodles and rub it all over the chest…
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: voluptuousgrl
Drunk girl in the bathroom, picking up plastic bag from the garbage: Whose baby is this?!?!
–Madison Square Garden Bathroom
Hipster: That’s the phone booth where I lost my virginity!
— Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
