Two-year-old boy: I see a saxophone! He's singing a saxophone!
Father: You don't sing a saxophone, you play a saxophone.
Two-year-old boy: That's not true!
–66th St
Overheard by: crazy cute.
Two-year-old boy: I see a saxophone! He's singing a saxophone!
Father: You don't sing a saxophone, you play a saxophone.
Two-year-old boy: That's not true!
–66th St
Overheard by: crazy cute.
Guy in white shirt and tie: So what, so what if the aliens landed in Brooklyn? And they start shooting their guns, their laser guns on the corner, in the candy store? What then? Do we just let them in the shelter?
–John Jay College of Criminal Justice
Crazy guy: I am an alien from outer space! I have crash landed on your planet! This is our language! (saxophone solo)
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Conductor: We will be stopped at the next station for ten minutes. You are not allowed to exit the train, so that means no smoke breaks or bathroom trips. If you do get off of the train you will be abducted by aliens and never heard from again.
–Amtrak Train, Penn station
Overheard by: Madge
Hobo to teen girls: Can you spare some change for a space man? I wanna get drunk later.
–94th St & Broadway
Blue collar guy to random guy holding a musical instrument: I wish I had a harpsichord. I'd put on an old fashioned movie and play it in the dark. You wouldn't even need a drink!
Musical guy: A drink wouldn't hurt.
Blue collar guy: No, it wouldn't. (takes a bottle of rum out of his pocket and takes a swig)
–N Train
Overheard by: Pretending to listen to her music
Passenger to Asian girl carrying strange bag: Is that a didgeridoo in your bag?
Asian girl: Excuse me?
Passenger: Is that a didgeridoo in you bag?
Asian girl: Oh no, it's my sword.
–Elevator, 39th St
Overheard by: Baby Dinosaur
Angry Spanish boyfriend: You know why I'm talking to you like this! Because your boss was sitting there and you probably had no damn clothes on!
–Broad Channel Subway Station
Girl to friend: Yeah, I can't wait until we take off our clothes and do our make up!
–116th & 3rd
(20-something couple is walking down the street with arms around each other)
Woman: So were you self-conscious when you took off your clothes in front of the children?
–28th & 5th
White guy answering cell: Negrooooo… I'm on the Long Island Railroad being completely homosexual… You missed it, completely naked…
–LIRR
Overheard by: Xavier
Five-year-old girl, before performance begins: Are they going to take *all* their clothes off?
—Hair, Delacorte Theater
Girl to friend: God! I remember when my brother ran into my room naked screaming that he had two buttholes.
–Subway, 14th & 1st
Overweight middle age white guy to friend: I know, I get it, you like to sit naked in the mud while some guy serenades you on his guitar singing about things I don't believe and can't understand. That's your thing. I prefer hockey.
–89th & 4th, Brooklyn
Woman: Do you have any books on violins?
Sales guy: Well, we don’t have a lot about playing them, but we have some about the sensuality of it.
Woman: It’s for a child.
Sales guy: Oh.
–Borders, 57th & Park Ave
20-ish guy: Maybe I’ll get another drumstick this time.
Friend: Or another fuck you.
–Brand New Concert, Blender Theatre, Gramercy
Hipster girl: The friendly giant plays the clarinet. Can you play the clarinet?
Tall hipster guy: No, but I can play the recorder.
–2nd Ave, between 2nd & 3rd St
Overheard by: Grace
Queer black guy to white fag hag: My skin used to be much lighter, but then I joined the marching band.
–N train
Overheard by: Ashley
Loud woman: So, this guy kept trying to borrow the guitar, and I thought, Who is this guy? He was so strung out he could only play one chord, but Zach was like, ‘Hey, you’ve heard of the Rolling Stones?’ And I said yes, and he said, ‘Well, that was one of the Rolling Stones.’ It was Keith Richards!
–Hungarian Pastry Shop, 111th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: embly
Suit: Think of it as intercourse, not playing the guitar.
–45th & 8th
Overheard by: chica_boom
Girl, about musical she just saw: This will sound really weird, but different instruments made me have to pee more. I was like, ‘Damn you, saxophone!’
–Starbucks
Crazy ‘Nam vet to pack of musician passersby: Musical instruments are the tools of professional rapists!
–Williamsburg Bridge
Overheard by: bort
Stoner guy: And when I play improvisational tuba, man, it’s like my soul comes alive.
Stoner girl: Dude, that’s such a good idea.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Chelsea
