Dude on motorcycle handing rose to girl: A beautiful rose for a beautiful lady.
Girl: Ew.
–W 4th St
Dude on motorcycle handing rose to girl: A beautiful rose for a beautiful lady.
Girl: Ew.
–W 4th St
Thin preppy girl to heavier stranger: Oh my god! I love your shoes.
Heavier stranger, looking her over: Girl, I wish I could give you a compliment, but you just look hungry.
–95th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Adriana
Man: Do you wanna ride in the sidecar of my motorbike? My son does that all the time. We go really fast!
Teen girl: Yeah, sure, I’d love to go in your pre-war sidecar. With a bit of luck, all my friends will see me with some crazy bald man and that will be the end of my life. No, thanks!
–The Village
Strange guy: Excuse me, NYU students?
Guy #1: Yeah?
Strange guy: I’m your biggest rival.
Guy #1: Huh?
Strange guy: Columbia. Law school. I’m coming for you.
Guy #1: Okay…
Strange guy: Employer sees résumé from NYU, résumé from Columbia, always picks Columbia.
Guy #1: Okay. Have a nice day.
Strange guy: I’m coming for you, trust fund baby.
Guy #2: I’m sure that Columbia résumé makes up for not having a penis…
Guy #1: Trust fund baby?
Strange guy: Columbia. [Flicks them off and leaves.]
–Starbucks, Astor Pl & Lafayette
Overheard by: NYU Student
Drunk fan: Martin Brodeur fucked his sister-in-law.
Sober pisser: That’s worse than OJ Simpson.
Drunk fan: Yeah, he’s French Canadian.
–Madison Square Garden bathroom
Overheard by: TrueBlue
Teenager to friend: Well, her name is Alexandra, and I was not hooking up with her…
Random passerby, interrupting: Yeah, that's right, I once knew a girl named pussy!
–West Houston St
Overheard by: nickwe
Woman: Your brother’s an actor? That’s so nice.
Man: Yeah, he’s really good. It’s a great play.
Woman: What’s the role?
Man: He plays this gay man who faces his own death.
Woman: Awww…
Man: But, I mean, he’s no faggot or anything. My brother’s just a really good actor.
–St. Mark’s & 3rd Avenue
Crazy lady: Where are we?
Stranger: New York City.
Crazy lady: Should I call 911?
–Amtrak
Overheard by: tj
Post street vendor: Paris Hilton out of jail! New York Post!
Passerby: If he said that slag was back in jail, I'd even stoop to buying a Post.
–43rd & Lex
Emaciated goth/punk guy: Hey, do you know where a CVS is?
Passerby suit: I don't know what that is…
Passerby preppy girl: Are you looking for a CVS?
Emaciated goth/punk guy: Yes!
Preppy girl: Well, there's a Duane Reade right there, it's like, the same thing.
Emaciated goth/punk guy, matter-of-factly: I know, it's just impossible to steal from Duane Reade.
Preppy girl: Oh.
Emaciated goth/punk guy: I'm really poor.
Preppy girl: Okay.
Emaciated goth/punk guy, cheerful: Thanks anyway!
Preppy girl, also cheerful: You're welcome!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Hannah
