A Typical Saturday Night for David Hasselhoff

Angry drunk yelling at man: Fuck you! Fuck your mother! I hope you die, you piece of shit!
Angry drunk's girlfriend: Will you just calm down?
Angry drunk: No, fuck that! I hope he dies! I hope his mother dies! I'll fucking go back in time and terminate his mother!
Brave stranger: (laughs)
Angry drunk: What the fuck are you laughing at motherfucker?
Brave stranger: Going back in time and terminating his mother.
Angry drunk: Well, okay, that is funny… I like that movie too. (pause) Fuck him, I hope he dies!

–Q Train

Posted on July 18, 2022
Anger Management, Couples, Death, Drunks, Insults, Laughter, Movies, On the Subway, Parents, Strangers, Wishes & desires

Miss Piggy: Don't Make Moi Come Over There

Production assistant: Excuse me sir, no flash photography please. For the safety of our actors.
Bystander: Actors? They're Muppets!

–Muppets Movie Set, Park Slope

Posted on July 13, 2022
9 to 5-ers, Film, Park Slope, Pictures, Strangers

Like Anyone Hears Anything Said on a Cell Phone

Jogging hoochie on cell: Yeah, I just touched down in Boston. No, I’m still in the airport waiting for my bag.
Black guy: Don’t believe her! She’s in Atlantic City!

–Central Park

Overheard by: MaliceAlice

Posted on July 3, 2022
Central Park, Hootchies, Lies, Strangers

You’re Still Only As Safe As Your Lover, Sweetie

Well-meaning volunteer: Help yourself, free condoms from the department of public health.
Hugely pregnant passerby: Too late.

–Grand Central Terminal

Overheard by: Katie

Posted on June 18, 2022
Activists, Advice, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Condoms, Default, Grand Central, Offers and requests, Preggers, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Strangers, Train Station

The Problem with Facebook, in a Nutshell.

Teen girl: Yeah, I'll talk to you on Facebook.
Man in truck, overhearing: I have Facebook too! Add me!

–Lower East Side

Posted on June 1, 2022
Facebook, Lower East Side, Men, Strangers, Teens, Weirdness

His Morning Wood Is a Bonsai

Big Guido, yelling at female bystanders after minor traffic accident: Why don’t you shut the fuck up and get something to do… go suck a dick somewhere!
Woman bystander: Well, I’d suck you if you weren’t so small…

–55th & Madison

Overheard by: kerstin

Posted on February 24, 2022
BJs, Comebacks, Default, Guidos, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, Strangers, Women

Just Like Les Mis!

40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Hey! How's it going?! Where are you from?
40-something regular guy: Seattle. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Newport Beach, California! What are you off to do?
40-something regular guy: Dinner and some drinks with friends. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Me and a buddy are going to take mushrooms and go see Young Frankenstein for the third time! It's hilarious when you're high!

–Elevator, Sheraton Hotel

Posted on February 15, 2022
Drinking & Drunk People, Druggies, Drugs, Elevators, Film, Food, Hotels, Preppies, Questions, Strangers, Tourists

Night Train, Thunderbird and Wednesday One-Liners

Crazy hobo with guitar to stranger: Damn… you invited a lot of people.

–1 Train

Hobo to young married couple: I have found the promised land. Seriously. I'd get a plane ticket right now, but it'd be cheaper to go to confession for a week and then get hit by a bus. Remind me to tell you about this later.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Oliver

Grimy hobo: Hey, do you guys have any change? Hey, do you guys have any change?
(20-something girl walks past him, with businessman a few steps behind) Hey, do you guys want to have sex? Uh, I mean…

–W 3rd & Thompson

Hobo, taking donations to help the homeless, counting coins: 25…50…60… (grabs fistful of coins sticks in pocket) Tax rebate!

–Union Square