Male Columbia student: So did she give you the recommendation, or what?
Female Columbia student: Yeah, I wasn’t sure that she liked me that much… But then apparently she told them I walk on water in six-inch heels!
–1 Train
Male Columbia student: So did she give you the recommendation, or what?
Female Columbia student: Yeah, I wasn’t sure that she liked me that much… But then apparently she told them I walk on water in six-inch heels!
–1 Train
Woman: Maybe I didn’t find Barnard that easily, but I sure found the zoo all right.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Student: I saw my professor in the park over the weekend.
Friend: So?
Student: It was three in the morning. And he was exposed… He was peeing.
Friend: Huh. I wonder if he has tenure.
–Coles Gym, Mercer Street
Overheard by: Studying for Finals at NYU
Teen girl #1: Yo, how you spell juicy?
Teen girl #2: I don’t know; I dropped out of school 6 months ago.
–A train
Teen #1, peeing against side of building: Oh, shit. Now everyone’s getting out of the concert. Can anyone see me?
Teen #2: Come on, man, don’t be shy. Everyone wants to meet you. You’re practically a celeb.
Teen #1, still peeing: I’m so not going to be your friend sophomore year.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: Concertgoer
Lady #1: Unlike our daughter, she got lucky.
Lady #2: How so?
Lady #1: Our daughter had to pay to go to college. She got a scholarship because her father died.
–Jacobs Theatre, W. 45th Street
Father to young son: We’ll get an apartment in Kentucky. Then you’ll only have to go to school through 6th grade."
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Dashing Dan
Jewy girl on cell: He’s an apartment broker?… Last time you said he dealt with hedge funds… Yea, I don’t think they are the same thing.
–21st St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Lezbotron
Guy: Well, my week has been interesting. Last month Meredith tried to sublet my apartment right out from under me. So, this week I went through her stuff and mailed her boyfriend –wait no, fiancé– a receipt from when she got an abortion last summer.
–10th & 1st
Overheard by: ED
Reasonable cop: Even though it’s a stinkin friggin apartment, he’s got a place to put his ugly fuckin head.
–Dunkin Donuts, Woodside, Queens
Twink #1 to twink #2: I believe in my heart of hearts that I should live in an apartment like the ones in Woody Allen movies.
–50th St & 9th Ave
Conductor on very crowded F train: Those of you with very small apartments will appreciate them now.
–F Train
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Eighth-grade girl #1: Man, that Of Mice and Men book was weird.
Eighth-grade girl #2: I know, huh? And why was it called that, anyway? All they talk about is rabbits. No mice.
Eighth-grade girl #1: Dude, really! Why didn’t that guy call it Of Rabbits and Men?
Eighth-grade girl #2: I guess because mice also starts with M.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Shalamar
Southern college girl #1: We’re just conversing over here.
Southern college girl #2: The word is ‘conversate.’ ‘Converse’ is a shoe!
–Uptown A train
Dog owner to another: Dogs are funny. They're like little retarded kids.
–Tompkins Square Park Dog Run
Guy on cell: She went from Debbie downer to Debbie Down Syndrome.
–62nd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Timo Lipping
Dad: I thought she would like Carolina, so we took her to see four schools there. I asked her if she liked them and she said, "I liked the schools… But everyone there seemed slightly retarded."
–W 54th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Johnny V.
Southern woman who just ran NYC marathon to Southern friend: Well, we can't have a baby now because it would be retarded… because I'm 35, you know?
–Becco Restaurant, Theater District
Overheard by: mersayseh
