Lady: Damn! This dress done makes me look like I gave up on life!

Dressing room
Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: Ursulav

Random guy: Man, you just gotta cowboy the fuck up and tell the dumb bitch you’re doing her in the ass!

Moe’s Southwest Grill
Norman, Oklahoma

DJ: And we'll be giving away a free DVD of diary of a mad black woman!
Drunk shirtless redneck, sincerely: Wooooooo! That's my movie! That's my movie!

Screen on the Green, Centennial Park
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Becca

Man gassing up his pickup truck to screaming woman inside: Goddammit, Delores, I cannot unfuck that woman!

Gas Station, Alabama

Middle aged redneck woman: Yeah, or I'm gonna get more sicker!
Redneck friend: There's no such thing as “more sicker.” It's a double negative.
Middle aged redneck woman: Yeah! Double sicker!

Oneonta, New York

Overheard by: Caroline

Redneck girl: So do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes, that's part of our religion.
Redneck girl: No, I mean you. Do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes! I do, my people do, it's our religion!
Redneck girl: So when you go to church, there's a cow there?
Hindu boy: No, we don't go to church.
Redneck girl: Have you ever gone cow-tipping?
Hindu boy: What's that?
Redneck girl: It's when you run up to a cow in the middle of the night and push it over and it goes “mooooooooo!” I tried to tip a horse once, too, but it just looked at me.

High School
North Carolina

Middle aged redneck to cute four-year-old girl: You’re just as sharp as your great granddaddy! You’re gonna grow up to write about public restrooms in America!

Gas Station
Waco, Texas

Male redneck: You can come over, but you can't be shittin' in my bathroom.
(female redneck is silent)
Male redneck: Seriously… I like you and all, but I don't know you good enough for you to be stankin' up my bathroom.
(they leave together)

Project Lounge
Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: these are the people who get to have sex?

Redneck: So then I woke up, and she was hitting me in the head because I passed out and she couldn't wake me up, even though she pulled my eyelids back and everything. So then I was like “Why are you so mad when we just went to the best rodeo of our life?”

Auburn, Alabama

Redneck to wife: You'll never see a squirrel like that in Massachusetts!

Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Stephen