Education

Toddler boy: Look, Daddy! The airport!
Dad: That’s the moon, Milo.

–86th & 3rd

Overheard by: Claire Keaveney

Teen boy: They should have a test for eveyone coming out of high school to weed out the stupid kids from the gene pool. If you don’t pass, you die.
Teen girl: Yeah, like how momma hamsters eat their babies when they know they won’t make it in the real world.

–6 train

JAP #1: Oh my gawd, I have so many papers to write for school!
JAP #2: My friend is going to Parsons. She's not even that talented.
JAP #1: I'm so bad at writing papers. You know what I do? I find something someone else said. Something that I like…and then I just change the words.

–R Train

Preppy blonde: And I would be in the alley, all secret… And then out of nowhere people in the street would hear “Fuck yeah–crack!” coming from the alley, and then the police would come, and I would totally be saying goodbye to my chances at Yale.
Tiny brunette friend: Yeah, totally.

–82nd & York

Professor: Most democracies usually don’t go to war with other democracies.
Student: Then all countries should become democracies, right?

–Political Philosophy class, Baruch College

Overheard by: Beerinder

Guy: Yeah, I was in jail and got my Associate’s.
Girl: Yeah? Was it free?
Guy: 20 dollars or something.
Girl: Damn! I’m gonna be paying school loans forever! I should go to jail!

–Wai Cafe, 17th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: 167girl

Male Columbia student: So did she give you the recommendation, or what?
Female Columbia student: Yeah, I wasn’t sure that she liked me that much… But then apparently she told them I walk on water in six-inch heels!

–1 Train

Woman: Maybe I didn’t find Barnard that easily, but I sure found the zoo all right.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Todd Seavey

Student: I saw my professor in the park over the weekend.
Friend: So?
Student: It was three in the morning. And he was exposed… He was peeing.
Friend: Huh. I wonder if he has tenure.

–Coles Gym, Mercer Street

Overheard by: Studying for Finals at NYU

Teen girl #1: Yo, how you spell juicy?
Teen girl #2: I don’t know; I dropped out of school 6 months ago.

–A train