Diet/Weight

The Lighter Side of…Eating Disorders

Girl: It doesn’t matter if you’re skinny or fat–being anorexic is when you don’t eat because you only think that you’re fat!
Guy: No, people don’t eat because they’re not hungry.

–N train

Overheard by: Steph Lo

Sunbathing chick #1: Oh, girl, you so skinny. They should name you “Miss Congene-u-ality”.
Sunbather #2: Oh no no no, I don’t puke.

–Central Park Great Lawn

Overheard by: Jordan the Intern

Man: So let me get this straight: you still buy him stuffed animals–
Woman: Yeah.
Man: –but he just broke up with his girlfriend because she got too fat.
Woman: Yup.
Man: How old is he?
Woman: Nine.

–Starbucks, 114th & Broadway

Overheard by: Jack Vanston

You’re Giving Yourself Too Much Credit

Girl #1: Oh my god there’s too many people in this elevator! There’s only supposed to be 10 people!
Girl #2: It’s OK, I’m skinny. In my own reality I’m actually only half a person.

–Hotel Gansevoort, 9th Avenue

Overheard by: Priscilla Perez

There’s a Keebler Elf Graveyard Up in There

A fat girl’s belly is pooling over the top of her jeans.

Guy: Hey, check out her muffin tops.
Girl: Dude, those aren’t muffin tops; they’re a whole cake explosion.

–N train

Overheard by: Tina

It’s Magic in That It Didn’t Crack, Fattie

Girl #1: My magic mirror told me I was looking thin today…and then I saw myself at work.
Girl #2: I know.

–36th & 7th

Overheard by: Selina

He is the Goddamn Stool Maker…Big Stool

Guy #1: Holy friggin’ crap dude, do you see the size of that guy over there?
Guy #2: Yeah. You see what he’s eating?
Guy #1: What is that, a salad?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: Well hats off to him for at least trying to eat like a normal person.
Guy #2: Are you kidding? Hats off to the goddamn stoolmaker.

–Village Lantern, Bleecker Street

Overheard by: Douglas

It Depends On How They’re Cooked

Man #1: He’s put on some weight. I don’t remember him being that fat in The Last Five Years.
Man #2: Well, having two kids’ll do that to you.

–Imperial Theatre, West 45th Street

You Need a Lot of Junk to Take Out a Walking Skeleton

Nurse lady #1: Who do you think is going to OD first?
Nurse lady #2: Mary-Kate.
Nurse lady #1: Yeah, I know.

–Memorial Sloan-Kettering hospital, E. 68th Street

Overheard by: Phenders

Maybe She Wasn’t Standing When Her Water Broke

Chick #1: What’s the deal with Mimi, anyway? She’s been pregnant for a while.
Chick #2: I know. I’m beginning to think she’s just fat.

–Mimi Maternity, 87th & Broadway

Overheard by: Djlindee

I Think I’m Going to Be Sick

Girl #1: She looks so good now, though!
Girl #2: Yeah, well, if she would keep a meal down once in a while she might not…

–9th Avenue & Little West 12th Street

Overheard by: Wyatt Neumann

Girl #1: They were all wondering why I wasn’t eating, and they kept asking me to eat something, so I just finally had a sandwich to shut them up. So when I went back to the hotel, I threw up.
Girl #2: I totally understand, I would have done the same thing.

–NYSC locker room, 23rd & Park

Depends on What Kind of Freaky She Feels Like

Girl #1: These are my fat ass pants.
Girl #2: Oh…so are they supposed to make your ass look fat or thin?

–58th & 5th

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