Questions

Guy on cell: What does you caring about me have to do with me at some club with “hypothetical” naked chicks?

–42nd & Lexington

Guy yelling across street to girl on phone: Tell her I waited naked on the bed all night but she never came!

–Washington Square

Suit to another: It’s so weird because there are so many people at the office who you’d never think to picture naked… Like Marcy: you’d never picture her naked. Alex: you’d never picture him naked. Derek: I’ve never pictured him naked.

–F Train

Overheard by: EmLo

Guy, to two women: I was like, “You’re lying on top of me. We’re naked. When does this get fun?”

–Philosophy Building, Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

(girl is wearing small, tight, mini‐skirt and talking to a group of boys)
Girl: If it was up to me, I wouldn’t be wearing any clothes, if it weren’t for gravity.

–Sybil’s, Liberty Ave, Queens

Overheard by: Terrence

20‐something girl to friend: So I chased after him, but I was naked…so how far could I go?

–Brooklyn Promanade

Black guy: Yo, I can’t believe I turn 30 tomorrow.
Puerto Rican friend: Yeah, son.
Black guy: Like, I’ve got a family and a career! What the fuck is that all about?! What happened to my wrestling dream?!
Puerto Rican friend: Yeah, son.

–J Train

Man with clipboard: Do you want to change the Constitution?
Lady passerby: No.
Man with clipboard: I’ll take that as a ‘yes’!

–57th & 7th

Overheard by: Charlie

Dude: Is there a frog in here?
Chick: Sorry, I tooted.

–A train

Overheard by: nicole

Lady facing sign reading “Security”: Excuse me — where can I find security?!
Hapless intern: Um…

–New York‐Presbyterian Hospital

Overheard by: i hate hospitals

Girl to friend: Is there a way to block fat people on OkCupid?

–Bedford Ave & 8th

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Remember the other day when you told me I had a fat ass and I didn’t curse you out? So now you gonna buy me something.

–Pizzeria, 77th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Eric

Older woman waiting for a seat: Oh good, the fat one got up. Shit, an even fatter sits down.

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: Henry Pena

Posh‐looking Asian chick: But he consumed over 6,000 calories a day, so he deserved whatever he had coming.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Ladle

White hip‐hopper on cell: Yeah, she’s so big I thought there was two of her. Then I realized she was a dude!

–Broome & Forsyth

Overheard by: Terry

Scruffy guy: Do cockroaches need oxygen?
Chick: Um… what?
Scruffy guy: Do cockroaches need oxygen?
Chick: I have no idea.
Scruffy guy: Cause I was thinking, if they do, maybe that’s why we never see them in this elevator, where there is no oxygen.

–W 151st St & Broadway

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Girl on phone: Well then, riddle me this, smart guy: why’d I wake up naked?

–Smith & Sackett, Cobble Hill

Overheard by: Swimfan

Girl: Oh my god! I can’t wait to see them naked!

–Elevator, Times Square Arts Center

Overheard by: Natalie

Museum worker: And then I woke up buck naked in a hotel, and there were pictures of me all over the room.

–Museum of Art and Design

Guy: No, I will not do it in here again. Just because I’m wearing nothing under my jacket, doesn’t mean I’m going to flash a crowd of people in every store we enter. I’ve done it three times already. Get your rocks off some other way.

–Columbus Circle Mall Escalator

Overheard by: Martin

Drunk girl at NYU protest: I don’t even know why I’m here, I just want to take off my clothes!

–NYU Kimmel Center

Overheard by: Lilo

Girl on train: Oh, hi! I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.

–A Train

Overheard by: Don’t even wanna know

Girl on cell: So I’m gonna be naked, but that’s okay, I’ll be wearing rollerblades.

–N 4th & Bedford Ave

Woman #1: I am coming perilously close to dehydration.
Woman #2: Okay. Let’s go to Duane Reade.
Woman #1: Okay, but can you buy me a bottle of water? I have no money.
Woman #2: You’re walking around with no money? What are going to do if you get robbed?
Woman #1: Give them my credit cards – everyone takes credit.

–Union Square Park

Girl: I thought it was gonna be like a tiny thing!
Guy, freaking out: Why do you have a huge ass turtle?!

–Canal & Mott