The End of Wednesday One-liners

Guy: Hey, lady, you need to slow the fuck down…your dog needs to take a fuckin’ dump…just look at his swollen-ass asshole!

–Times Square

Indian woman on cell: You are a terrible, terrible man. You are a horrible shit of piece.

–60th between Lexington & 3rd

Overheard by: Navyboy

Guy: If she was a dinosaur, she’d be an assaraptus.

–Astoria

Overheard by: shane matthews

Lady on cell: OK, so you know Alisha? She’s Poop’s best friend…yeah, Poop.

–77th & Lexington

Overheard by: marissa

Wife: I’m just saying say, “excuse me.” I ain’t asking you to hold it in or nothing; it’s a natural part of life. I mean, if you need to let it out, let it out. I’m just saying say, “excuse me.” Have some damn manners. We fart, we all fart, but just say, “excuse me.”

–Central Park

Overheard by: Alex Liebman

Guy: I will say this: butts are weird, and fickle. You can put that in your dissertation.

–111th between Broadway & Amsterdam

Overheard by: djlindee