Dignified middle-aged foreigner to three students: Excuse me, can you tell me — where is the pussy?
Grad student #1, while other two laugh: Pusey Library? You want Level D, then make a right and go down the hall.
Dignified middle-aged foreigner: Thank you. How late is the pussy open?
Grad student #1, losing his composure: Um, yeah. You know, man, that really depends on you. If you’re good, it’s open all night.

Widener Library, Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: A.J.S.

French metrosexual, holding up iPhone: It's from Madame Butterfly. You know it?
French bike cop: Yeah, I saw the American movie of it. With that one homosexual actor. Robbie… Robin…
British dinner guest: Robbie Williams?
American dinner guest: Robin Williams? Wait, he's not gay…
French bike cop: Yes. Him.
British dinner guest: That was Mrs Doubtfire.
American dinner guest: It's called Papillon in the US.
French metrosexual: What?


Old Russian woman: You very strong girl!
Cashier: Thanks.
Old Russian woman: You will birth very easy!
Cashier: Than… wait, what?!

Yarmouth, Maine

Overheard by: Jade

Teacher: Did you hear Germany got a new polar bear?
German exchange student: Shiza!
Guy: What’s wrong with polar bears?
German exchange student: Ugh… You have no idea.

Grady High School
Atlanta, Georgia

Prof: So, how's everything at home?
Italian cafe worker: My dog died.
Prof: Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Was he old?
Italian cafe worker: Yes. But I can't bury him. The ground is frozen. There's snow.
Prof: You could have him cremated.
Italian cafe worker: I have him in my freezer. I had to clear it out, my freezer. All the food is out. I'm going to keep him there 'til mud season when I can bury him in the backyard.
Prof: Oh.

Landmark College
Putney, Vermont

British lady: My, look at that — they’ve cast a black man as Othello…

Othello performance, Stratford Festival Theatre

American guy: So, how do you like the states?
British guy: You know, I’ve yet to try a Twinkie.
American guy: Really?
British guy: Yeah, or a Ding Dong… Are those similar?

Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: twinkie lover

Non-native presenting for speech class: Everyone has cows in their life. Cows at home. Cows at work. Cows in our families. Cows can take over everything. But how do we get rid of the cows?
Teacher: Chaos. It’s pronounced ‘chaos.’

Truman College
Chicago, Illinois

White Russian guy with slight accent: Something tells me my first born won't be white. That something is my penis.

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: The Sauce

Spanish girl to boy: Sleeping with ten niggas ain't the same thing as sleeping with ten white boys!

High School