Caribbean woman: Will dis [wine cooler] drunk me?
Caribbean man: No, that won’t drunk you.
–Yvette Clarke for Congress HQ, Crown Heights
Caribbean woman: Will dis [wine cooler] drunk me?
Caribbean man: No, that won’t drunk you.
–Yvette Clarke for Congress HQ, Crown Heights
A Russian man was blocking the way out of the store.
American woman: Excuse me.
Russian man: I’m picking my lemons.
American woman: Whadya want us all to do, play leapfrog over you? Move it please.
Russian man: You’re stupid.
American woman: Stupid? I got one word for you. Chernobyl! How’s that for stupid? Bet you were working there, you fucking asshole. Now move it, you fuckin’ retard!
–Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
British Lady: I have a sharp pain in my bladder.
British Guy: Maybe you’re pregnant.
British Lady: How would you know?
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Katherine O’Brien
Guy, about Empire State Building: Yeah, and for Valentine's Day they put a heart on it.
Visiting Australian woman: A what? A hard-on?
–Rooftop, Watching 4th of July Fireworks
Overheard by: i saw one of those on a building once…
Foreign guy #1: Is it a 4-door?
Rental car lady: I have no idea, I haven’t even begun the process yet.
She reaches into a drawer and pulls out a set of keys.
Rental car lady: Yes.
Foreign guy #2: That was some process.
–Avis, West 43rd Street
Overheard by: mike k
Swedish guy: Last night I burped so loud I think I’m sure I woke everyone up in the apartment.
American guy: That’s kind of like when I took that noisy dump.
Swedish guy: Ew!
–Times Square
Girl #1: We totally only hired her because she’s British.
Girl #2: Oh, is she the one who smells like babies?
Girl #1: Yeah…
–East Village
Girl #1: But… Isn't he from Japan?
Girl #2: Duh, Japanese people speak Chinese!
Girl #1: Oh my god! (laughs) You are so funny! People from Japan speak Spanish. Everybody knows that!
–A Train
Overheard by: Hiding In The Corner (Highly Disturbed.)
British art guy: You know what I love about Americans?
American art guy: What’s that?
British art guy: When I say the word ‘fag,’ they think I’m talking about smoking and not being homophobic. Even if I say, ‘I want to ass-fuck that fag,’ I can get away with it because I’m British.
–Soho
Girl #1: Where is he from, anyway?
Girl #2: I dunno, he's from Fort Dallas or something.
Girl #1: He's from some fort town.
Girl #2: Well, there's Dallas-Fort Worth, but that's, like, a big city. (pause) He's from wherever Kelly Clarkson's from.
Girl #1: Oh, okay!
–LIRR
Overheard by: openmic
