Old man: Lloyd. Proper name or suffix?
–2nd Ave. & 68th St.
Overheard by: Eric
Old man: Lloyd. Proper name or suffix?
–2nd Ave. & 68th St.
Overheard by: Eric
Employee: I’m so gangsta and keep it so real that I think it scares women sometimes.
–Duane Reade, 76th & 1st
Overheard by: Adam Shprintzen
Woman: Excuse me. I have to put something in my dryer.
Girl folding clothes: Oh, okay.
Woman: Excuse me! I have to put something else in my dryer.
Girl: O-kay…
Woman: Now I have to take something out of my dryer…unbelievable.
Girl: Wow, you’re a case!
Woman: I’m a what?!
Girl: A case. I’ve never seen anybody so worked up over laundry.
Woman: Well, you haven’t lived very long, have you?
Girl: Not as long as you!…Have a nice day!
Woman: Fuck you!
–York Launderette, York Avenue and E. 82nd
Tourist: Excuse me, but do you know how I can get to Penn station?
Woman in camo: Do I look like a fucking tour guide?
Tourist: Now that’s what I came to New York to find!
–5th & 82nd
Guy #1: Is this that beer I left here last time?
Girl: No, I just can’t open it.
He tries to, fails, and says: Oh I see, you mean you can’t open it physically.
Guy #2: As opposed to what, metaphorically?
–UES apartment
Overheard by: ian
Gen X Girl on cell: …yeah, totally. It’s like, last night, I had sex with this guy and the condom broke. And like I’m ovulating. And I like totally can’t remember this guy’s name. Whatever.
–M31 bus
Son: I’m really glad you’re drinking again, you know…just not so much.
–Mon Petit Cafe, UES
Cashier: Do you want anything on it?
Buyer: What?
Cashier: Do you want anything on your hot dog?
Buyer: Yes.
Cashier: What would you like?
Buyer: Nothing.
–Papaya’s, 86th & 3rd
Yuppie on cell cutting long line, to cashier: I’d like to buy some cookies.
Cashier: Um, the line starts back there, sir.
Yuppie, into cell: I hate the fucking East Side. Everyone thinks they’re hot shit. I can’t figure out this fucking line — all I want to do is buy some fucking cookies… New Jersey is my destiny.
–Bakery, 70th & Lex
13-year-old boy #1: Don't you remember that you told me my Bar Mitzvah was terrible?
13-year-old boy #2: When did I say that? I did not say nothing.
13-year-old boy #1: Don't you remember? You were talking to Eileen and you said I made a lot of mistakes. Don't blame me.
13-year-old boy #2: Don't blame you? You're blaming me! This is why we can't get together. Now we can't eat dinner together. We need conflict resolution.
–Barnes & Noble, 86th & Lexington
Guy: Did you hook up with anyone on New Year’s?
Girl: Yeah, and he’s like a prince of some country.
Guy: Heh, that’s cool I guess. Did he take you to his palace?
Girl: No, but that would’ve been cool. I’ve always wanted to touch a prince’s penis.
–6 train
Chick: So, I figured we’d ring in the new year with a three-way.
–34th & Park
Chick: There are 3 things I hate about the holidays. One, people who become assholes for no reason. Two, people who become more emotional for no reason. And three, people who are both of the above.
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Gwenn Levine
