Compare/Contrast

Boy, 6: It was magic.
Mom: No, it wasn’t magic; it was a miracle. There is a difference.

–Broadway & Dey

Woman: Excuse me, I left my passport in the ladies’ room.
Stewardess guy: I’m sorry, madam, you’ll have to wait until we make our way down the aisle.
Woman: But I need to get my passport.
Stewardess guy: I understand that, but we cannot move this cart back far enough. We should be through in a few minutes.
Woman: But it’s in the bathroom! What if someone takes it?
Stewardess guy: If it’s not in the bathroom when you get there, let one of us know and we’ll make an announcement.
Woman: No, I can’t wait for that to happen, I have to go and get my passport now.
Stewardess guy: I understand, but as I’ve explained to you before, you must wait. Please return to your seat.
Woman: Oh, you’re very nice. You know, in the United States, people don’t behave like that.
Stewardess guy: In the Netherlands people don’t dress like that.

–KLM flight to JFK

Man: You two walk how old people fuck!

–14th & 9th

Overheard by: Emily

Guy on cell: Yeah, general admission was cool when I was 18, but not when I’m fucking 32.

–78th & 1st

Guy: You know how, like, with alcohol they require ID for proof of age? They should really do that with bikinis also.

–Great Lawn, Central Park

Chinese girl: I hate it when non-Chinese people make my Chinese food.
Puerto Rican guy: Yeah, when Chinese people make it, it tastes like greed.
Chinese girl: What did you say?
Puerto Rican guy: Relax. Italian food tastes like lazy complacency.

–49th & Broadway

Girl #1: Ugh! It’s horrible out! It feels like I’m in someone’s lung!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: It’s just so moist and warm out here; it’s like being in a giant lung.
Girl #2: …that’s the most disgusting description I think I’ve ever heard.

–74th & Madison

Overheard by: Sarah

Guy #1: We were talking about philosophy, and his ideas are just crazy.
Guy #2: Yeah, philosophy is not a good idea.

–Haru Sushi, Park Avenue

Overheard by: FunnyGirl

Pretty boy: Well, it’s good money, but I don’t want to do it too much, because I don’t want people to think I’m like them.
Unpretty boy: Who, the other male models?
Pretty boy: I am not a male model! I am an actor! I just do it for the money.
Unpretty boy: Sure, sure, it’s just a gig, man.
Pretty boy: I am not a male model!

–14th & 7th

Woman: You don’t get any overage? That’s ridiculous. You got to switch to Cingular.
Man: But I hear the service isn’t so good.
Woman: Yeah that’s true, the service sucks. But at least you get overage.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Girl on cell: Hey, that’s not fair! If you get to be Mr. Incredible, why am I Jewgirl?

–Washington Square Park

Guy on cell: Does anyone in Romania have ice cream?

–Tompkins Square Park

Overheard by: Greg Ashley

Woman: Why is it every time a guy beats his dick over the phone it sounds like a helicopter taking off?

–20th & 6th

Overheard by: phyllis pisacano

Girl: what do you call this style of architecture? Ugly road-houses?

–Mott Haven

Overheard by: yev

Guy: Isn’t England a state of the US, like Colorado?

–Alt.Coffee, Avenue A

Overheard by: dewo

Guy flipping through cell: Damn, why the fuck have I only got White people on here?

–27th & 7th pizzeria

Overheard by: dbrock

Fashion girl: How do you start a zoo? Do you buy the animals first or the place to put them?

–Conde Nast Building, Times Square

Overheard by: Jax

Crazy guy: Are your French Fries made with beef?

–McDonald’s, 85th & 3rd

Overheard by: Marc Cassata

Guy: Is it technically depression if you’re depressed because you can’t date a Gap model?

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: ProcrastYNate

Tween girl: …when her water broke, she rode her bike to the hospital. How ghetto is that?

–B44 bus

Lady: They better give me my money back or I’m gonna get 7 on my side!

–K-mart, Staten Island

Overheard by: tony

Store guy on cell: Nah, man I can’t go out tonight! I’m broke! I just paid for an abortion.

–Pathmark, Cherry Street

Overheard by: Jubie D.

Suit: I need to go uptown, where they know the difference between a hot dog and a frankfurter.

–The Water Club, E. 23rd Street

Overheard by: Dave