Girl #1: Ugh! It’s horrible out! It feels like I’m in someone’s lung!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: It’s just so moist and warm out here; it’s like being in a giant lung.
Girl #2: …that’s the most disgusting description I think I’ve ever heard.
–74th & Madison
Overheard by: Sarah
Guy #1: We were talking about philosophy, and his ideas are just crazy.
Guy #2: Yeah, philosophy is not a good idea.
–Haru Sushi, Park Avenue
Overheard by: FunnyGirl
Pretty boy: Well, it’s good money, but I don’t want to do it too much, because I don’t want people to think I’m like them.
Unpretty boy: Who, the other male models?
Pretty boy: I am not a male model! I am an actor! I just do it for the money.
Unpretty boy: Sure, sure, it’s just a gig, man.
Pretty boy: I am not a male model!
–14th & 7th
Woman: You don’t get any overage? That’s ridiculous. You got to switch to Cingular.
Man: But I hear the service isn’t so good.
Woman: Yeah that’s true, the service sucks. But at least you get overage.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Girl on cell: Hey, that’s not fair! If you get to be Mr. Incredible, why am I Jewgirl?
–Washington Square Park
Guy on cell: Does anyone in Romania have ice cream?
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Greg Ashley
Woman: Why is it every time a guy beats his dick over the phone it sounds like a helicopter taking off?
–20th & 6th
Overheard by: phyllis pisacano
Girl: what do you call this style of architecture? Ugly road-houses?
–Mott Haven
Overheard by: yev
Guy: Isn’t England a state of the US, like Colorado?
–Alt.Coffee, Avenue A
Overheard by: dewo
Guy flipping through cell: Damn, why the fuck have I only got White people on here?
–27th & 7th pizzeria
Overheard by: dbrock
Fashion girl: How do you start a zoo? Do you buy the animals first or the place to put them?
–Conde Nast Building, Times Square
Overheard by: Jax
Crazy guy: Are your French Fries made with beef?
–McDonald’s, 85th & 3rd
Overheard by: Marc Cassata
Guy: Is it technically depression if you’re depressed because you can’t date a Gap model?
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: ProcrastYNate
Tween girl: …when her water broke, she rode her bike to the hospital. How ghetto is that?
–B44 bus
Lady: They better give me my money back or I’m gonna get 7 on my side!
–K-mart, Staten Island
Overheard by: tony
Store guy on cell: Nah, man I can’t go out tonight! I’m broke! I just paid for an abortion.
–Pathmark, Cherry Street
Overheard by: Jubie D.
Suit: I need to go uptown, where they know the difference between a hot dog and a frankfurter.
–The Water Club, E. 23rd Street
Overheard by: Dave
Guy: I was never any good at sports…I’ve watched the Superbowl a few times.
–Flatiron office
Lady on phone: Yeah, they have seat fillers at the Oscars and other award shows, you didn’t know that? It’s so when they pan over the audience it doesn’t look like a Mets game.
–40th Street office
Overheard by: Clay Caviness
Guy: I’m not going to be the only guy at the hockey party holding an apple turnover.
–Broadway & Prince
Overheard by: Christopher Miner
Girl #1: Ugh! He gave me the biggest hickey on one of my tits! Gross!
Girl #2: Well, at least it was a hickey and not a burning sensation when you pee!
–Union Square
Chick #1: Do you think I should have another Texas-sized margarita?
Chick #2: I think your eyes are bigger than your liver.
–Dallas BBQ, 166th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Chick: I think the difference between a blog and a website is that a blog is something you can set up without doing any of that website shit.
—Black Table party, Slainte, The Bowery
