Hipster girl #1: Yeah, so she has her own nail business now. You know, she mixes her own colors and everything.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, kind of like Satan.
–79th & Broadway
Hipster girl #1: Yeah, so she has her own nail business now. You know, she mixes her own colors and everything.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, kind of like Satan.
–79th & Broadway
20-something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies.
–Starbucks, West Village
Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies
Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings!
–Broadway
Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I'm unstoppable! I'm like an ox!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
NYU girl: My mother was like, "what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?" and I was like, "what wouldn't you do with a giant inflatable turkey?"
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Mickey
Drunken friend #1: That guy at the bar was hot. You totally should’ve taken him home.
Drunken friend #2: Why me? Let her (points to drunken friend #3) take him home.
Drunken friend #3 (trying to be discreet): Ummmm excuse me? I don’t need a man. I have d-i-c-k at home.
Drunken friend #2: Uhh, the rest of the train can figure out what you just spelled.
–Crowded 6 Train
Overheard by: ear hustler
Swedish guy: Last night I burped so loud I think I’m sure I woke everyone up in the apartment.
American guy: That’s kind of like when I took that noisy dump.
Swedish guy: Ew!
–Times Square
Grad student girl: How did your work go today?
Grad student guy: Pretty good. I took some Adderall. God, it helps–it's like crack.
Grad student girl: Oh my god! Really? I'll suck your dick for a pill.
Grad student guy: Damn straight you will.
–Fish Bar, East Village
Overheard by: John-John
Father: Having you and your mother in the same room is like having the Communist party.
–Murray Hill
Blonde to other: Don't worry, within like an hour you'll have Jameson running through your system.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Girl on cell: I'm kind of hungover–I think that gin and tonic was a bad idea. I was already drunk, I don't know why I felt the need to have one… And then I went home and made scrambled eggs, and then I wrote a long email to Jen* about how good they were and then I read it this morning and I was like "I am such an idiot!"
–Broadway & Great Jones
Overheard by: Lillian
Sorority girl on cell: Well, I'm going to have some champagne, but it's not like I'm knocking back shots with the guys. (pause) Yeah, I know, I know, I'll be careful. (pause) Don't worry, mom, I've done worse drugs than drink before! (long pause) I don't want to talk about it. (long long pause) So…I'm going to go horseback riding!
–Broadway & 34th St, Astoria
Overheard by: Horsies Are Pretty
Bartender: Ladies and gentlemen! Don't run away from or by the bar! You have an hour to walk to your seats. Again, please do not run from the bar, run to it!
—Wicked, Broadway
Girl to friend: I only get tipsy enough to go into the Virgin Megastore…
–2nd Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: Jonathan
Man to friend, about AA: Y'know, if I could drink like normal people, I'd get drunk every night.
–Central Park
Overheard by: John Tidyman
Girl to friend: When I told you to seize the moment I didn't know you were drunk!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Rebecca
Guy to friend, about Grindhouse double-feature: That was fucking awesome.
Old guy in front of them: You didn’t actually like that, did you?
Guy: I did! I thought it was hilarious.
Old guy: Yeah, it was as funny as a dead child’s toy.
–83rd & 2nd
Overheard by: don juan
Guy: Why would I struggle with a bigger woman?
Friend: Because you are not agile!
–49th & 3rd
Girl: It's weird: I'm a cross between a radical feminist and a frat boy.
Boy: It's because you love drinking and fucking.
Girl: And critical theory!
–Rudy's, 44th & 9th
Overheard by: holden caufield
