Guy on cell: My life is a falafel. No, no, wait, it’s a pita. My life is a pita.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Teen boy: When I get home, I’m gonna get me one of them nutrient shake shits.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Jon Graboff
Woman: I didn’t like the emu there. I’m not going to like it here.
–Eight Mile Creek, Mulberry Street
Overheard by: james uphoff
Girl #1: She was so pretty.
Girl #2: Good pretty or bitchy pretty?
Girl #1: Can you, like, recognize a nosejob when you see one?
Girl #2: Why? Are you thinking of getting one? You don’t need it.
Girl #1: No, I just wanted to go hang out someplace where people have had a lot of plastic surgery.
–B61 bus
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, due to backups on the F, this train is going to make express stops only at Delancey Street all the way to Brooklyn. Passengers who would like to get off at 2nd Avenue and East Broadway please get off the train and take the next train right behind us.
Sephora shopping bags woman: Right behind us, my ass! We’re all gonna die!
–F train
Overheard by: Alex Wipf
Student: It’s not computers that’s fucking you up, it’s General Hospital.
–Pratt dorm, Willoughby Avenue
Overheard by: Eric Wrenn
Girl, 7: Sometimes, I wonder: who really did kill Kenny?
–M79 bus
Girl, 4: I have needs, too.
Boy, 4: Your needs? Who cares about your needs? What about my needs?
–M16 bus
Overheard by: Jenny Piston
Guy on cell: …no, not her. A new chick…Yeah, man, yeah. You know me; I’m anally ambitious. I’m gonna be in her like a gerbil.
–M72 bus
Overheard by: Alexandra
Man #1: So did you get the golden ticket?
Man #2: The what?
Man #1: The golden ticket to the chocolate factory, did you get it?
Man #2: What?
Man #1: Anal! Did you hit her up the butt?
Man #2: Oh! Ha ha…yeah, finally.
–3 Train
Overheard by: Marco Formosa
Gen X Girl on cell: …yeah, totally. It’s like, last night, I had sex with this guy and the condom broke. And like I’m ovulating. And I like totally can’t remember this guy’s name. Whatever.
–M31 bus
Son: I’m really glad you’re drinking again, you know…just not so much.
–Mon Petit Cafe, UES
Fat Chick: Thank God. Cheryl! It’s the Golden Arches!
–Bus Entering Port Authority
Boy, 7: Who’s that guy again?
Mom: Which one?
Boy, 7: Subway.
Mother: Bernard Goetz.
–B48 bus
13-year-old girl #1: Oh my god, you totally weren't paying attention to my shoes!
13-year-old girl #2: It's because my cousin is not in town!
–Bus, Coney Island
Overheard by: Brainy
