Bowery Ballroom

Hipster girl: Oh, I’m not saying love doesn’t exist…just that I’m not going to ever have any, so why shouldn’t I just settle for money and sex?

–Bowery Ballroom, Delancey Street

Overheard by: Keith

Indie Girl #1: …I saw the Unicorns like in the basement for $3!
Indie Girl #2: You saw the Unicorns?! Oh my god, you are like totally my new best friend!
Indie Girl #1: Like I’m so in love with them!
Indie Girl #2: Do you want a cigarette?

–Bowery Ballroom bathroom

Overheard by: roxy

Stoned hipster #1: Dude, Van Gogh is the Sex Pistols.
Stoned hipster #2: Huh?
Stoned hipster #1: Because, think about it: Van Gogh never sold a painting while he was alive, and the Sex Pistols never won any awards or nothing. Yet they’re both appreciated in our time.
Stoned hipster #2: It’s more like Van Gogh is The Velvet Underground.
Stoned hipster #1: Oh my god, Van Gogh is so The Velvet Underground!

–Bowery Ballroom

Overheard by: Abram

Dude: Shit in the pussy!
Wolf Parade singer: …Did someone just say “shit in the pussy”?

–Bowery Ballroom, Delancey Street

Overheard by: claudia gallego

Suit: Hey asshole standing up, sit the fuck down!
Hipster guy: Hey asshole sitting down, stand the fuck up!
Suit: I didnt pay $800 to look at the back of your head!
Hipster guy: Come down here and try something and i’ll sue your ass! Nice suit, fag!

–Cream Concert, Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: zetasmack

Girl: Hey, you guys were great. If you’re not doing anything after, call my number, I wrote it next to the monument [on this dollar].
Jurassic 5 singer: Wow..uh, great. Take care, now.
Girl: Yeah, see you later.
Jurassic 5 singer: …Dude, she just gave me her phone number. You take it.
Guy: Yeah? Wow, thanks!
Jurassic 5 singer: Yeah, but buddy, you make sure you tap that shit, now, y’hear? A’right.

–70th & Broadway

Overheard by: Sharon B

Pat O’Brien: Um, excuse me…
Bouncer: Oh shit, that’s Pat O’Brien, that’s my peoples.
Guy: …Aw, come on, we’ve been waiting out here for an hour and Pat O’Brien gets in?
Bouncer: Yo, don’t step, Pat O’Brien is good peoples.

–Canal Room, West Broadway

Drag queen: Madonna should die! She sucks! She’s a rapist, not an artist!…Madonna should die! I’ll kill her!
Guy: Get a vagina, bitch!

–The Roxy, West 18th Street

Overheard by: G-Lock

Security guard to group of teenagers: Where are you from? Are you from the West Coast? I want to know what's going on over there.
Teenager: We're from Washington, DC.
Security guard: Oh, that's on the West Coast.
Teenager: No, Washington, DC is on the East Coast.
Security guard: Ohhh. You've got all those politicians, huh? That sucks.

–Bowrey Ballroom

Overheard by: Fifi

Girl in stall #1: I am sooo wasted.
Girl in stall #2: I am so disappointed.
Girl in stall #1: In the show? I know, but they are so tired from being on tour, and it’s the third night–
Girl in stall #2: –No, not that.
Girl in stall #1: Oh. Then why?
Girl in stall #2: Um…
Girl in stall #1: Because I’m drunk?
Girl in stall #2: Yeah.
Girl in stall #1: Oh.

–Bowery Ballroom

Overheard by: Foxy

Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?

–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave

Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.

–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel

TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: Limey

Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’

–26th St

Overheard by: agrees with that girl

College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?

–114th & Broadway

Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.

–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn

Guy: Do you think I should have a K at the beginning of my name?
Girl #1: What?
Guy: Well, you know how trendy people have a silent letter in their names sometimes. I think I want to do that. Just put a K at the beginning.
Girl #2: …Then your name would be KShawn.
Girl #1: No one would leave the K silent you idiot. They’d call you “Kuh-Shawn.”
Guy: Why are you laughing?…Oh, is it too ethnic?

–Bowery Ballroom

Guy: Jonny sent me on an errand. I feel like a mule. I’m like a donkey to him!

NY2LON show, Bowery Ballroom