Hipster: I really have to pee.
Random passerby: Pssssss!
–Whitehall Station
Hipster: I really have to pee.
Random passerby: Pssssss!
–Whitehall Station
Girl #1: It’s so weird that I used to do online dating. I guess I felt like, because it was Nerve.com, it was okay, because Nerve is for the sex crazed.
Girl #2: How many people did you sleep with?
Girl #1: Eight.
Girl #2: Wait a second– do you really like sex?
Girl #1: No, not really.
Girl #2: Good, me neither.
–Bleecker & Charles
NYU Girl #1: Meanwhile, my boyfriend is being a huge prick.
NYU Girl #2: Meanwhile, you’re sleeping with a guy on your hall.
–Washington Square Park
Chick: Wait, you don’t take credit cards?
Street vendor: Yeah, I got a machine right here in my arm.
–Whitehall & Bridge
Man, to old woman pouring paint thinner into the sewer: You know, you’ll kill the alligators like that.
–39th & Lex
Methodone lover: I told him, “If you do that again, I’m gonna sic the alligators on you!”
–Whitehall Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: Steven Lowell
Tourist, kneeling in front of a giant stone head: Help me, Olmec! Where is the shrine of the silver monkey?
–Museum of Natural History
Chelsea boy: Yeah…My God, the boys there were so hot! Their asses were all tight and round…Mmm…like a Chihuahua’s.
–19th & 6th
Overheard by: CocteauBoy
5-Year-Old boy, passing the smelly horse carriages on Central Park South: Eww, are there camels around here?
–59th between Broadway & 7th
Overheard by: Carmiya Weinraub
Old man, passing bear sculpture: Bears eat too much.
–American Wing Cafe, the Met
Overheard by: guingel
MTA hardhat: Yeah, for lunch I’ll have either the rat on a stick or the pigeon on a stick.
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Brewster
Guy on cell: I just saw a pigeon, and it reminded me of you.
–Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Jon A.
Commuter: Oh, I’ve always been into manatees.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jon
Woman, to child: That’s why imagination is really nice. You can imagine that cat you have always wanted, and it’s almost like having him for real…even though you never will.
–53rd & Broadway
Animal lover: I never used to like cats. But then I had this dream where this cat, like, told me, “I love you,” so I got a cat.
–10th St & 1st Ave
Bus rider: My son’s frog jumped up there, and now I can’t take a poop.
–Q101 bus
Overheard by: Kaleena
Suit: No, no, it’s a woman with a donkey, not two donkeys! Jesus.
–14th St 1 station
Non-Ghetto woman on cell: That’s nigga’s crazier than a road lizard!
–59th & 7th
Picky girl: You won’t believe the pick up line he used. He actually said, “I want to be your beast.”
–The Strand, Broadway
Overheard by: Miss Parker
Daughter tourist: Wow! Look at him.
Mother tourist: Yeah, who knew there were so many Amish in New York?
–Bowling Green Park
Overheard by: Lauhginallthe way
Queer, as someone is trying to push through the crowd: Throw menstrual blood at him! That’s the one thing girls can do to get back at guys! Throw menstrual blood at him!
–Roseland Ballroom
Dad to pre-teen daughter about mom: She is on the rag today. Don’t talk to her this moringing, she’s got an attitude.
–R Train
Girl: I have sexed my period away too!
–Bowery
Businesswoman: So yeah, it still really hurts. I guess it’s cause I got my period last night… [Sees a disgusted look on a male suit’s face.] Blood! Blood! Raaar!
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Withnail
Girl #1: So how is every thing?
Girl #2: Good, I talked to James… He’s dying.
Girl #1: Ah, I see.
Girl #2: Yeah, so things are great! (nods repeatedly)
–Exiting City Hall Station
Woman selling crap on side of road: Come on, let’s go get high, so you can make love to me, so we can get something to eat. Come on.
–Fulton and Gold
Naked chick #1: I tried to call you Sunday, but your boyfriend said you were taking a nap.
Naked chick #2: Oh, why?
Naked chick #1: Well, I was reading Craigslist and this guy said he’d give someone $100 for 14 pills of tetrazepam and I was like, “Wait a minute, I have that!”
Naked chick #2: So you were calling to ask me if you should sell drugs over the internet?
Naked chick #1: Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Naked chick #2: Was there anyone on there offering money for a blowjob?
Naked chick #1: Um, no.
Naked chick #2: Because that’s another career option I wouldn’t recommend.
–14th Street Y sauna
Overheard by: klingrap
