Etiquette

Fun at the SI Ferry (It Is Possible)

A businesswoman throws up over the edge of the ferry. A chick walks up to help her, and then admonishes the ignoring crowd standing around her: You should all be ashamed of yourselves for not helping this poor woman!
Headphones Guy: Fuck you!
Chick: What if it was you getting sick over the rail?
Headphones Guy: Fuck you! I don’t get sick!

–Staten Island Ferry

Guy #1: Don’t you think that makes sense?
Guy #2: No, it doesn’t make sense, which is why I think we’re going to fucking get arrested!

–Staten Island Ferry Terminal

Overheard by: David Lock

It’s Part of the Elementary School Curriculum Here in New York

Drunken friend #1: That guy at the bar was hot. You totally should’ve taken him home.
Drunken friend #2: Why me? Let her (points to drunken friend #3) take him home.
Drunken friend #3 (trying to be discreet): Ummmm excuse me? I don’t need a man. I have d-i-c-k at home.
Drunken friend #2: Uhh, the rest of the train can figure out what you just spelled.

–Crowded 6 Train

Overheard by: ear hustler

The Pretty-Girl Entitlement Statute Begins to Wane in Influence

(three men hail a taxi and get in)
Girl: Hey, I was over there waiting for a long time. May I have your cab?
Guy #1: Are you serious?
Girl: Yes, I was on the other corner, waiting.
Guy #2 (laughing in her face): Are you fucking serious, lady?
Girl: Buy I was on the other corner waiting for a long time.
Guy #3: Oh, well! You were on the other corner, kiddo. Get more aggressive.
Girl: But guys… I was waiting…
Guy #1 (as taxi leaves): Courtesy, bitch.

–14th & 2nd

Overheard by: Luke

Who’s Doomed to Wander Dark Subway Tunnels for All Eternity

Conductor: This is the shuttle to Times Square. This is not an express train. You are on the shuttle to Times Square, not an express train. Again, this is the shuttle to Times Square… Not an express train. Shuttle to Times Square…
Random thug: Shut the fuck up!
Conductor: … Not the express train. And for the lovely person who just told me to shut up, I’m in the car right next to you. Merry Christmas to all.
[Short pause.]Conductor: Except to the kid who told me to shut up.

–Shuttle to Times Square

Overheard by: Suburban Liz

I’m Just Seeing How Many Times I Can Say “Pussylips” in One Day

Roommate #1: Y’all need to cover up ’cause I can see your pussylips and that’s just not appropriate.
Roommate #2: Really?
Roommate #1: No.

–Pratt Institute

Some things just can’t be taught in one sentence

Yuppie: …and I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday teaching them the Golden Rule.

–Into cell phone, Lexington & 53rd

Ahem –That’s “Womyn“

Gangsta #1: … And then these bitches…
Gangsta #2: Wo-men. Nigga, they’re women!

–26th & 8th

It’s 157, Your Weight in Pounds

D’Agostino check-out counter girl, loudly into the store intercom: Jason, what’s your password?

–D’Agostino, Greenwich & Barrow

Heather Duke Redux

Drunk girl #1 coughs.
Drunk girl #2: If you vomit, I swear to God this friendship is over.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: kellianne

You’re Welcome, Grasshopper

Yuppie woman, bumping into a man: Sorry.
Man: Don’t say sorry. This is New York. Nobody says sorry.
Woman: What do you want me to say? Fuck you??
Man: That’s better. This is New York. Who says sorry?
Woman: Fuck you.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Young professional’s friend

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