Pregnant woman: Can I cut in front of you, it’s an emergency?
Unpregnant man: Yeah no problem, but you better name that shit after me.
–Famiglia, 8th & Broadway
Pregnant woman: Can I cut in front of you, it’s an emergency?
Unpregnant man: Yeah no problem, but you better name that shit after me.
–Famiglia, 8th & Broadway
Girl to friend: Fucking prick!
Hobo: Girl, you nasty. You nasty, but I’d still do ya.
–6 train platform, 33rd St
Girl #1 (in bodega): Oooh, can I have a little taste of that?
Girl #2: Lick my crabs!
–133rd & Amsterdam
Mother: Don’t sit like that! You don’t want people see your you-know-what parts!
Four-year-old daughter sitting Indian-style: But I wanna!
–13th & 8th, Park Slope
Overheard by: person
Trashy girl (loudly): So I was suckin his cock for like 45 minutes and nothin happened, I was like, “fuck yo problem?”
Friend: Word?
Trashy girl: For real! (turns to staring suit) Excuse me, this is a private conversation!
–A Train
Little girl: Daddy, why did that car just honk?
Father: Because they were from Jersey. (pause) People from Jersey are loud for no apparent reason.
–38th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Rosey
Woman, screaming into her cell phone: I SAID I DON’T KNOW YOU. I CALLED THE WRONG NUMBER. I’M NOT ANSWERING ANY MORE QUESTIONS FROM YOU. I DIDN’T WANT TO CALL YOU. I DON’T KNOW YOU. I DON’T KNOW. I THOUGHT THIS WAS SOMEONE ELSE’S NUMBER. I DON’T WANT TO DISTURB YOU. I DON’T KNOW! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT? I DON’T KNOW YOU. I DIDN’T MEAN TO ALL YOU. I’M NOT ANSWERING ANY MORE QUESTIONS. BYE.
–Union Square Park
Dude: You may think you’ve never even met anyone like him, but in reality you’ve never even heard of anyone like him.
Intrigued girl: Uh-huh… Totally.
–Bedford ave, Williamsburg
Gleeful little boy: We will, we will fuck you! We will, we will fuck you! [Bursts into giggles.]
–1 train
Overheard by: caitlinj
Guy: I mean, I wasn’t expecting being fucked, either!
–55th & 8th
Overheard by: Mariah
Guy on cell: You know what? Cleo fucked you, so fuck it — we’re fucked.
–Forest Hills
Tough guy with five-year-old: Hey, buddy! Don’t fucking push me! I’ve got my fuckin’ kid here!
–1 train
Overheard by: wba
Hispanic lady with stroller, on cell: Mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Fuckin’ asshole [Spanish]… Son of a [Spanish]… Fuckin’ mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Bunny rabbit [Spanish]… Fuck.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N (doesn’t speak Spanish)
Girl yelling across the street: Yo, she got more hair on her pussy than your bitch got on her head!
–St. John’s, Crown Heights
Woman on cell. One hundred dollars? You must have me confused with 1-800-Crack Whore.
–W 57th
