Woman: I'm from Utah.
Fruit vendor: Utah!? I've never even heard of anybody from Utah!

–Union Square Farmers Market

Overheard by: I've *heard* of them, but I don't believe in them

Southern lady: Y’know, I hear there’s lots of good theater here in New York City.
Friend: Is Cats still playing?

–Times Square

Overheard by: PeggyG.

Overweight middle aged Southern tourist pointing to approaching train: Where is this train going?
Semi-annoyed girl: Queens.
Tourist: Yeah, but where is that?
Quite-a-bit-annoyed girl: Queens.
Tourist: Yeah, but where is that?
Deflated girl: It's… Never mind.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Melanie C.

Tourist: Hey look, it's 42nd Street! They named it after a Broadway show.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Really? REALLY!?!

Tourist dad, as shuttle to Grand Central comes in: No! We need to take the purple to Grand Central Station, then the green!

–Times Square Shuttle Platform

Overheard by: D-Law

Male tourist, watching stranger propose underneath Christmas tree: Hey buddy, did you go to Jared?

–Rockefeller Center

Southern tourist lady, as subway stops: Oh no, I think the train ran out of gas!

–F Train

Overheard by: Matt

Southern tourist: I guess the birds ate all the hands off the statues.

–The Cloisters, Harlem

Overheard by: M@

Bartender: Both of the bars have indoor Bocce courts.
Texan: That is bad ass!

–Stand, 12th b/w 5th & University

Southern man: What the hell is a steak free-tes?
Southern woman: Oh honey, it’s a chicken fried steak and they probably serve it with grits. This is where famous people come to eat like real human beings.
Southern man: Well hell, they should call it somethin’ more respectable than Pasties.

–Pastis, 9th & Little W. 12th

Overheard by: Jack B. Nimble

Southern lady whining to friend in same bathroom stall: She has three kids now, and I’m not the godmother for any of them! But she’s the godmother for my kid… What the fuck is that? Y’know, the godparents are supposed to care for your kids if you die. I would never let her care for my kids.
Friend: This doesn’t happen in Alabama.

–40th & 6th

Southern hipster #1: Man, I don't loooove ice cream…
Southern hipster #2: You must, you been talkin' about it all day.
Southern hipster #1: Yeah, like ice cream cake that you can write dirty words on!


Overheard by: Giri

Man to woman: You wouldn't procreate with Boomer Esiason, even though he's the king of Cincinnati?

–Deli, Canal & Hudson

Overheard by: Uncle Bling

Man on cell: Elvis made ten million dollars last year and he's dead. There's no reason I can't make a thousand.

–Park Slope

Hipster: I like Steve Buscemi a lot more than I like you.

–Life Cafe, Bushwick

Overheard by: D

Woman in Southern accent to man: Look, the McGraw-Hill building. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill must own that building!

–W 49th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Michael

Middle aged white man to friend: I finally figured it out. "Mystikal" sounds like a constipated Samuel L. Jackson.


Overhead announcement: At this performance, the role of Simon will be played by Jason R. Cook.
Southern tourist: Jason’s mama is prrroud tonight!

–Broadway Theatre