Alabaman tourist: Do the trains run all night?
NY-er: Yes, they never close.
Alabaman tourist: Well, that’s good. We wanted to make sure we could get back from Times Square.
NY-er: Well, by New York standards it’s still early. It is only 9:30.
Alabaman tourist: Yeah, from where we’re from it’s late. We sleep with the roosters… Well, not literally.
–1/2/3 station, 72nd St
Overheard by: Debbie
Street promoter: Yo, do you like rap music?
Teenage Tourist: I’m from the South.
–Times Square
Alabaman, about MLK Day: Yeah, well, down in Alabama we don’t celebrate his birthday, but the day he was shot.
College kid: Uh…
–49th & 3rd
Guy selling Obama condoms: Yes, you can… get laid! Don't do the big apple without protection. Obama condoms, get them here!
Frumpy Southern tourist lady: Oh my god! They are actually condoms. That is my President's face. It does not belong on a condom.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Sam
Well-dressed British man on cell, as he walks oddly: Listen girl, I farted so hard yesterday I blasted half my ass off. (pause) No, seriously! I am still walking funny!
–24th St b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Joseph
Teenage boy to another: One time this hot bitch farted on my lap, and I didn't know what to do.
–12th St & University Place
Crazy hobo sitting on blanket: I used to wear underwear, but then I farted and left a stain, so decided no more. Can anyone spare any change?
–87th & Broadway
Overheard by: Nynanny
Girl from Louisiana: What can I say? I'm a Southern girl. I fart crawfish.
–McLean Ave, Yonkers
Woman on phone: Well, the romance is out of my life: this morning Greg came in my mouth, then straight away leaned back and farted.
–Beard St & Van Brunt St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: craig hunter
Woman with strong Southern accent: I am gonna have her bachelorette party in my apartment next weekend.
Husband: (nods)
Woman: But the goddamn stripper won't return my phone calls.
(waitress brings shots)
Woman: What is this?
Waitress: Tequila, on us.
Woman: This'll put hair on my boobies.
Husband's friends: That's just how he likes it.
Husband: (nods)
–Brother Jimmy's BBQ, Upper West Side
Tourist backpacker with hands on subway doors: Do these open on their own?
–1 Train
Tourist mom to uncool son: Well, that's what you get for trying to be a hipster!
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: j
Tourist: Holy moly, look at that Olive Garden! It's huge! I wish I lived here!
(takes a picture of the restaurant)
–Times Square
Obese Midwestern woman to obese Midwestern man: Oooh, Applebee's… Now I feel at home here!
–Times Square
Southern tourist guy: I thought people in Greenwich Village would look stranger.
–Bleecker Street
Tourist from west coast, after observing the locals for a few innings: You know, Seinfeld makes so much more sense to me now.
–Cheap Seats, Coney Island Cyclones
Overheard by: Kevin Eliasen
Southern tourist #1: Oh my god! Look! It’s Junior’s Cheesecake!
Southern tourist #2: Oh yeah! I’ve heard of them. They serve it at the Cheesecake Factory!
–Minskoff Theatre
Overheard by: Renee
Very happy male suit wearing slippers, shuffling down to the subway: If you can wear slippers in New York, you can wear slippers anywhere.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Lara
Suit on cell: I'm so glad to be in New York, where everyone is so mellow and everyone talks American.
–DiFara Pizzeria
Guy to date: That's what I love about New York–people wear different outfits.
–Outside Deluxe, 113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Dad to preteen daughter: See, I really don't have issues with citizens not from New York city.
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: depends on citizens
Woman on cell: I'm in New York, where Sesame Street lives.
–52nd & 7th
Overheard by: AEVRed
Southern lady on cell: I have to say I'm disappointed. I thought the Wal-Mart in New York would be amazing. Ya'll don't even have a Wal-Mart.
–Duane Reade, 34th & 8th
Large female southern tourist: It'd be really funny if we got stuck on the toilet and couldn't get up. It'd be the whole "help! Get me off this toilet!" thing.
–Bathroom, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Tourist woman to husband: Where's that cop who was here a minute ago? He gave me the wrong directions, and I wanna cuss him out for it!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Deeds
Tourist: Is this the building where people go all crazy about the numbers?
–Outside New York Stock Exchange
Overheard by: Kyle
50-something tourist husband to wife, while they share bites of same apple: I don't know why we came to this city… We can't even afford breakfast.
–34th & 7th
