Woman #1: What we gonna eat for dinner?
Woman #2: How 'bout Popeyes Chicken?
Woman #1: Nah, I had that fo' breakfast.
–Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: OkieExpat
Woman #1: What we gonna eat for dinner?
Woman #2: How 'bout Popeyes Chicken?
Woman #1: Nah, I had that fo' breakfast.
–Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: OkieExpat
20-something girl: I don't let people with toes like that into my bed!
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: insizlane
Old man on cell: Just tell her to go to Duane Reade and get that shit that puts your urethra to sleep.
–East Village
Overheard by: doctors are so jaded
Woman: My son has a perfect head, it's not flat on no sides.
–44 Bus, Staten Island
(man comes over and pushes down everyone's safety bar)
Woman: My uterus just came out of my vagina.
–Coney Island Cyclone
Guy on cell: …and it's just not Sunday unless you've had your finger in someone.
–Houston & Macdougal
Overheard by: Lish
Girl on cell (reading US Weekly): Hey, Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee were photographed together! That means there's still hope for me and that guy from the tattoo shop!
–Brookyln Diner, Times Square
Latina: What's with grandma keeping gettin' tattoos that show?
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Justin Case de Foodisbad
Chick to another: The only thing he better get tattooed on his butt is my name!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Angela
Guy to girlfriend: Does that guy over there have a picture of Kim Jong II tattooed on his shoulder? (pause) Or is that his kid? (pause) Cause that's fucked up!
–Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Not sure myself…
Girl: So I hooked up with this guy who had a prison tattoo of an eagle ripping up the communist manifesto. I was like: "God bless America," y'know?
–N train
Overheard by: amen
High-school teen to friend: So, like, every guy that likes me must totally be a pedophile.
–Flatbush & Dekalb, Brooklyn
13-year-old: I mean, he’s not a pedophile, he’s just very open with his sexuality, and I like that.
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kelly
Lesbian on cell: I just saw these girls and they were pretty. Really pretty. And fifteen. But then I heard them talking and I realized they were French! So it’s fine. Fifteen is legal there.
–36th St & Fifth Ave
Middle-aged teacher: I have this girl in my class that’s a six-year-old with a 46-year-old woman’s body.
–Prem-On Thai
Overheard by: office peon
Guy who just got more beer: This is the happiest place on earth… Except for that kindergarten I’m not allowed to go back to anymore.
–McSorley’s, 7th & 3rd
Overheard by: I’ll drink to that!
Seven-year-old boy running after another child: I’m a pedophile! I’m a pedophile! I’m a pedophile!
–Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: that’swhathesaid
Drunk girl: I think he uses his cancer to be cute.
–Bourgeois Pig, MacDougal St
Freak show barker: I hate cute ventriloquism.
–Outside Coney Island Freak Show
Overheard by: Miss Carrie
Girl, about three-year-old nearby: He’s so cute, I want to kidnap him!
–PATH train
Woman: … And then he pulled out a gun and threatened to kill me. It was so cute.
–Ruby Foo’s, 49th & 8th
Overheard by: Heather
Man to toddler girl: That’s what politicians do. They try to look cute.
–Smith & Union, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Girl: Oh my god, I love bridges. They are so useful!
Boy: Oh, don’t even get me started on bridges…
–Coney Island
Black chick on cell: What? You don’t want a picture of me? Huh? I said, ‘You don’t want a picture of me?’ I’ll send you one of me and my baby. Huh? My baby’s one now. Huh? Man, I been tellin’ you I had a baby. What? You my big baby, that’s my baby baby.
–Coney Island
Man #1: Aw, man, that’s not right. She’s pregnant.
Man #2: All the better– that means you can bust right inside her.
–Boardwalk, Coney Island
Overheard by: Lauren
Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese!
–1 train
Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass!
–Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym!
–Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn
Overheard by: elwood
Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island.
–Queens Center Mall
Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat.
–Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square
Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God!
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Melissa
Guy #1: …and I’m like, “Holy shit! What’s your fucking problem?” Sorry, excuse my French.
Girl: It’s okay, I’m not offended.
Guy #2: You speak French?
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Kay Baby
