Wednesday One-Liners by Dr. Ruth

Woman to male companion: I told you about that guy I accidentally slept with, right?

–Bar at Sushi Samba, 7th Ave

Overheard by: David Russo

Girl to friend: Because it is more than just, sexual, you know? (pause) Well, actually, it's not, but…

–14th b/w 6th & 7th

Man to woman: You know Mesopotamian sex? That's me.

–Washington Square Park

Man walking dog on cell: My number one conquest since coming here was a 21-year-old Native American.

–27th & Broadway

Girl on cell: Mom, how am I supposed to have sex on a bed that has wheels?

–15th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Steve Hofstetter

Guy: So I fucked her on a bench, but I didn't finish, because I kept telling her about my girlfriend and how much I love her. So she got pissed of and took a taxi home to her parents.

–5th Ave

40-something man: Just tell that landlord that you don't need no electricity or no cable because you gonna be makin' love all the damn time!

–14th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: tracey

Posted on July 29, 2009
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Bars & Clubs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hook Ups, Love, Men, On Cell, One Night Stand, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Promiscuity, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Street, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Just Do It

20-something on cell: So yeah, I hit a new low. So you know how I had sex with Dan, Steve and Dave? Well, I totally just handled my friend from work who is married and we did it in his daughter's bed. If that doesnt say I'm crazy, I dont know what does? (pause) Are you kidding me? His wife never gives it up, that man busted four times in a matter of minutes.
(pause). Well, that's now four men this week who said I have the best pussy they've had.

–159th & Broadway

Overheard by: morgan

Girl: She was fucking everybody in this city–and no one even liked her!

–Houston & Lafayette

Overheard by: bRonwyn

20-something man to girlfriend: You're a grown woman! I can't help it if you're a whore!

–7 Train

Overheard by: becky z-dub

Girl on cell: Wait, so you and Skylar are dating now? Ahh, so exciting! (pause) No, you didn't already tell me. You said that you woke up next to him. Since when does that mean you're dating someone?

–Bedford & 8th

20-something blonde on phone: All those people who laugh and snigger at you only do it because they too have experienced the walk of shame.

–Christopher & Bleecker

Man on phone: I can't be constantly wondering who you're sleeping with! I tell you, I'm tired, I'm old, and I can't do what I'm supposed to do. I'm a good 60, but I ain't good enough to be waking up everyday and chasing you around!

–Coffee shop, Crown Heights

Overheard by: Eric

Hipster on cell: I don't see what's so wrong with going up to someone on the street and saying, "hey, what's up? Let's fuck!" I do it all the time!

–Great Hall, Cooper Union

Overheard by: NYUTSOA12

Posted on November 5, 2008
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Brooklyn, Compliments, Dating, Girlfriends, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Infidelity, Laughter, Men, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One Night Stand, One-liners, Pick-up Lines, Promiscuity, Questions, Sex, Soho, Store, Street, Three is Company, Vagina, Weirdness, West Village

I Found the Hole, Looked Inside and Found My Dignity, All Pale and Wrinkled

Coworker #1: Man, last night was a big night. I don’t even remember what happened after two. I woke up next to a half-eaten pizza.
Coworker #2: Yeah, I woke up next to a half-inflated blow-up doll. I had to submerge her in water in the morning to find the hole.

–Bar, LES

Headline by: like an albino shame-raisen

Runners-Up:
· “Between Latex and Pepperoni Lies Inebriation. By Calvin Klein” – Dan
· “He Was a Sharp One.” – C-in-OH
· “Just Like When I Lost My Virginity, Except This Time I Didn’t Kill Her” – Silverfish
· “Pies and Dolls” – Mikkel Hundewadt-Jensen
· “Star Trek Convention: The Morning After” – nicky c.

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on August 2, 2007
Bars & Clubs, Headline Contest Winners, One Night Stand, Sex & Relationships

I’m Over It Now, Though, in the Daylight

Bimbette #1: I know you guys made out and had sex. You had a little crush.
Bimbette #2: Well, he was nice to me.

–12th & 4th

Posted on April 30, 2007
Bimbettes, Foreplay, One Night Stand, Sex, Union Square and East Village

By 2020 Everybody in the City Will Look Like This Guy

Guy #1: So, which one is it? Which one — the one night stand one?
Guy #2: Yeah, the one night stand.
Guy #1: The one night stand is pregnant? What about the one after?
Guy #2: No, the one after isn’t pregnant… yet… I don’t think…

–1 train

Posted on March 10, 2007
Guys, On the Subway, One Night Stand, Players, Pregnancy & Birth Control

You Know What? Stay in Vegas

Woman #1: Well, have fun in Vegas.
Woman #2: Thanks. I want to win big and get laid.
Woman #1: Well, use protection, honey.
Woman #2: Is that a new product?

–Macy’s Herald Square

Posted on March 8, 2007
Advice, Condoms, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One Night Stand, Store, Stupidity, Travel, Women

That’s Because She Was Carried

Girl, wearing men’s boxer shorts and sweatshirt, on cell: It was so awkward walking out of his room this morning…because I didn’t remember walking in!

–Starbucks, 14th & 6th

Overheard by: just trying to get my morning coffee