Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Man on cell: Was there a lot of bleeding? [unintelligible reply] Well, was it four sheep or five? [reply] We have to find a way to separate the cows from the sheep.

–Elevator, 56th & 8th

Drunk girl, yelling: All I want is a llama! Another cocktail and a llama!

–Terminal 5

Dude: So you’re enjoying acting, LA, monogamy, horses?

–Cafe Esperanto

Chick to friend: I don’t care how well you clean it, I am not doing shots out of that alligator!

–TriBeCa

Overheard by: lalala

Swanky pin‐stripe suit on cellphone: The little shit will definitely get approved. He’s as healthy as a French gay ox.

–51st & 3rd

Overheard by: IG

Young black dude: You know the movie The Lion King? Yeah The Lion King! …You know, the one with all the tigers.

–4 Train

Overheard by: BQM lady

Man: Manatees are the most peaceful creatures in the world… They get hit by motor boats!

–Astor Place

Teen boy #1: You should be a Pokemon for Halloween.
Teen boy #2: Like Jesus?

–Chambers St.

Overly flamboyant gay guy on phone: There is no way he can put himself through law school doing hardcore gay porn!

–Soho

Overheard by: Anastassia

Gay boy to another: Pornstars make good money.

–L Train

Girl: He wants to make money, but all his plans involve me being in porn. You know how long it takes to make a $1000 in porn? Three months!

–Destination Bar, 13th & Ave A

Overheard by: erkala

Heavyset dude to chick watching the Olympics: So I was watching curling porn the other day…

–Lucky Jack’s bar, Orchard St.

Overheard by: Ladle

Guy to friend: I saw that girl in a porn video last night. She has a cock.

–William & Cedar

Overheard by: Laura

My guy friend and I stopped on the sidewalk to finish up a conversation and say goodbye. A man walks by and gave a hard shoulder nudge to my friend and kept walking. 

Guy friend: Yeah, excuse me!
Man: You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. You can’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk; people need to get by. 

An argument ensues, then the man walks away. He changes his mind, walks back and gets within inches of my friend’s face. 

Man: I have a cold and I’m going to talk right in your face! 

–Broadway & Fulton 

Overheard by: Jessie 

Suit #1: I had to dig a four foot trench last weekend.
Suit #2: Why?
Suit #1: Well, we’re putting a waterfall into my swimming pool.
Suit #1: That’s why they invented Mexicans.

–Trinity Place

Overheard by: B‑tron

Suit #1: So now the mayor wants this new festival.
Suit #2: Oh, yeah? Which one?
Suit #1: The Asian Heritage festival, whatever the hell that means.

–Chambers & Broadway

Overheard by: Chandini Davis

Slutty girl: I think someone should have a tattoo over their asshole that says ‘Do Not Enter.‘
Friend: I nominate you.

–Fulton & Water St

Overheard by: Anon

Hipster chick with “valley girl” accent: Ya, like, ohmigod, ewwwwww… So I was reading Cosmo, and like, there was this story, about like, guys’ confessions, you know? And like, this random guy actually said, like, “Sometimes, I rub my dick on my cat’s fur, and it feels good.”

–Washington Square Park

10‐year‐old girl to another: I bet his idea of a hot girl is the crazy cat lady across the street.

–34th St, Astoria

Overheard by: Samantha

Woman to another: I have a friend in Belgium now – we both have cats!

–One World Financial Center

Overheard by: macgeekgrl

Brunette on phone: Do you want to play with your cat or do you want to play with me?

–60th St b/w Park & Madison

Overheard by: Adam B.

20‐something on cell: And when I woke up, I had no idea where I was. Then I realized I was spooning his cat.

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: J Cox

Drunk girl #1: Have you let him cross the border?
Sober girl: W‑what?
Drunk girl #2: You have, haven’t you?!
Sober girl: I don’t even know what ‘cross the border’ means…
Drunk girl #2: It means in the butt!
Drunk girl #1: C’mon, girl, let him cross it! Give that man citizenship!

–Lafayette & White

Overheard by: meanstreet

Ghetto guy #1: Man, that dude’s hair is always fucked up.
Ghetto guy #2: Yo, he don’t got no hair!
Ghetto guy #1: No, I mean his head is fucked up.

–Chambers Street station

Overheard by: mexican on wheels