Girl: If your cat has kittens, can I name one of them Chairman Meow?
Guy: If my cat has kittens, I’m going to put them in a plastic garbage bag and fling them into the river.
Girl: That’s not very gentlemanly.
–9 train
Overheard by: djlindee
Girl: If your cat has kittens, can I name one of them Chairman Meow?
Guy: If my cat has kittens, I’m going to put them in a plastic garbage bag and fling them into the river.
Girl: That’s not very gentlemanly.
–9 train
Overheard by: djlindee
Old woman: What did you tell me I needed to pay for?! What was it?!
Barista: Some new teeth.
–Starbucks, 34th & 7th
Overheard by: cmatta
An old Russian man has put his bag on the seat next to him. An old lady asks him to move it. He refuses as there are other seats albeit not in the front. Things get escalated until the old lady says: You’re a son of a bitch. I’d like to see you hit me with that. I’ll call the cops right now. I’ve got my cell phone!
–B1 bus
(After this exchange our editor handed her his card and told her that she would be on this site. She was confused on so many levels that they kind of cancelled out and she nodded & smiled.)
Hobo: Please man, can I have 25 cents? It’s to eat, ya know…
Man: Here you go. But if I was you, I’d eat something else.
–Hylan Boulevard, Staten Island
Overheard by: Helniev
White guy: I’m a pretty liberal-minded guy. I don’t consider myself prejudiced or anything…
White girl: But..?
White guy: But I really don’t like Polish people. I mean, I can’t help it, I just don’t.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Kristen
A guy pops his gum.
An older woman stands up and yells: Do you think I don’t hear you? I’ve asked several times, who is popping their gum, and everyone looks around, and it was you! You can’t do that in a public place! It’s a violent sound! Now, will you be able to control yourself, or will I have to run away from you?
–Penn Station
Pedestrian #1: I’m fucking handicapped. I can park anywhere I want to.
Pedestrian #2: If you’re handicapped, how come you’re walking?
Pedestrian #1: It ain’t my legs that’s handicapped.
–3rd between A & B
Overheard by: Abby
A businesswoman throws up over the edge of the ferry. A chick walks up to help her, and then admonishes the ignoring crowd standing around her: You should all be ashamed of yourselves for not helping this poor woman!
Headphones Guy: Fuck you!
Chick: What if it was you getting sick over the rail?
Headphones Guy: Fuck you! I don’t get sick!
–Staten Island Ferry
Guy #1: Don’t you think that makes sense?
Guy #2: No, it doesn’t make sense, which is why I think we’re going to fucking get arrested!
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: David Lock
Old guy: I’d like two tickets to Times Square please.
Booth lady: What?
Old guy: Two for Times Square please!
–Whitehall Street station
Yuppie on cell cutting long line, to cashier: I’d like to buy some cookies.
Cashier: Um, the line starts back there, sir.
Yuppie, into cell: I hate the fucking East Side. Everyone thinks they’re hot shit. I can’t figure out this fucking line — all I want to do is buy some fucking cookies… New Jersey is my destiny.
–Bakery, 70th & Lex
