Girl #1: My boyfriend totally has better taste in guys than I do.
Girl #2: Totally.
–Fordham University
Girl #1: My boyfriend totally has better taste in guys than I do.
Girl #2: Totally.
–Fordham University
Guido #1: What’re you doin’ tonight?
Guido #2: Goin’ to a movie wit my girl.
Guido #1: Mm.
Guido #2: Goin’ to see Hitch.
Guido #3: Hitch? Isn’t that a chick flick?
Guido #2: I said my girl asked me to take her to a movie.
Guido #3: Oh. Alright.
Guido #2: I ain’t seein’ the fuckin’ movie by myself.
–R train
Overheard by: bluesdog
Columbia guy: So then Caroline* decided to take all of his valuables and hide them in the back room, to make it look like he’d been robbed. When he came home he, like, *freaked out* and called 911.
Columbia chick: That’s hilarious!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ein Ladle
Headline by: Mikey G.
Runners-Up:
· “And After He Killed Her, He Pretended to Do CPR!” – JesusFreak
· “And She Didn’t Check the Psycho Box on Match.com” – digruntled internet dater
· “He Didn’t Like His Anal Rape-Themed Surprise Birthday Party Either…” – Beartram
· “I Bet the “Just Kidding Your Place Wasn’t Robbed Sex” Was Awesome, Too.” – anonmouse
· “Turns Out There’s No Spot For “Masculinity” on Insurance Claim Forms” – Jamie
Hobo #1: I love you.
Hobo #2: Get the fuck out of here.
Hobo #1: What?
Hobo #2: You are going to fuck with me and you are going to get yourself hurt. I mean it!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: bebe
Teen boy: Yo, I got the munchies, B…Yo, what happened to the guys with candy and shit? Shit was mad convenient.
–1 train
Overheard by: I. J. Meyers
Girl #1: I think true love is when you know someone isn’t perfect but you still think they are.
Girl #2: I thought love was when you could still feel butterflies in your heart even after he tells you he thinks he’s an elf.
Girl #1: I keep forgetting that actually happened.
Girl #2: Yeah, and not to you.
Girl #1: Yeah, I don’t know how I would have taken it.
–58th & 5th
Guy #1: You get married, so someone else can make your decision.
Guy #2: No, I got married so I can make someone else's decisions also!
–Broadway
Overheard by: Rina
Dorky bookstore guy: Teaching is like the biggest safety net of all.
Cute dorkette: You're my safety net!
Dorky bookstore guy, seeing her: Aw, you're my safety net.
–The Strand, Broadway & 12th St
Overheard by: Ian
Girl #1: Oh my god. My boyfriend just cheated on me.
Girl #2: Holy shit! Which one?
–Olive & Bette’s, W Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: striped shirt
Dude #1: Yeah, man. Not cool.
Dude #2: Dude, why do I always have to be fuckin’ the girl everyone hates?
–Macy’s
Overheard by: good question
