Hobo #1: I love you.
Hobo #2: Get the fuck out of here.
Hobo #1: What?
Hobo #2: You are going to fuck with me and you are going to get yourself hurt. I mean it!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: bebe

Girl #1: I think true love is when you know someone isn’t perfect but you still think they are.
Girl #2: I thought love was when you could still feel butterflies in your heart even after he tells you he thinks he’s an elf.
Girl #1: I keep forgetting that actually happened.
Girl #2: Yeah, and not to you.
Girl #1: Yeah, I don’t know how I would have taken it.

–58th & 5th

Guy #1: You get married, so someone else can make your decision.
Guy #2: No, I got married so I can make someone else’s decisions also!


Overheard by: Rina

Dorky bookstore guy: Teaching is like the biggest safety net of all.
Cute dorkette: You’re my safety net!
Dorky bookstore guy, seeing her: Aw, you’re my safety net.

–The Strand, Broadway & 12th St

Overheard by: Ian

Girl #1: Oh my god. My boyfriend just cheated on me.
Girl #2: Holy shit! Which one?

–Olive & Bette’s, W Broadway & Spring

Overheard by: striped shirt

Dude #1: Yeah, man. Not cool.
Dude #2: Dude, why do I always have to be fuckin’ the girl everyone hates?


Overheard by: good question

Dude #1: So I’m totally fighting with Mark–
Dude #2: You mean physically fighting, or metaphysically fighting?
Dude #1: Metaphysically. But does it make a difference?
Dude #2: Well, dude, you can’t get punched in the face, metaphysically.

–West 3rd & Mercer

Overheard by: Dev Nille 

Man: I’m not going to have this conversation with you!
Woman: Why not?
Man: Because that’s just setting myself up for an open‐ended ass kicking.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Blueshmoo

Girl #1: Why should you have him? I’ve been single for 20 months.
Girl #2: 20 months?! I’d be ashamed!

–34th & 7th