I Wanna Fuck You Like an Wednesday One‐Liner

Ghetto chick to friend: Remember when you took that chinchilla from me, back in the day?

–Q Train

Overheard by: Chloe

Grungy dude on cell: So I jumped on my horse and got the fuck outta there.

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: bildita

Guy: …and those Egyptians had crocodiles. Those crocodiles that shoot lasers out of their eyes.

–Metropolitian Musuem of Art

Overheard by: Bonkers in Yonkers

Hipster chick: Deer antlers. Everywhere I go, all I see are deer antlers. I’m getting sick of it.

–14th St & 1st Av

Overheard by: Larry

Thug: I’m like super pimp. I pimp men and women… And cats and dogs. Shit, I got the whole animal kingdom.

–10th & Broadway

Composed chick on cell: He’s a giraffe, and I’m a leopard, and I’m never gonna be a giraffe. I’ve tried and tried, but my destiny is as a leopard, you see? I can fake being a giraffe for awhile, but eventually I’m gonna have to rip his throat out and feed on his entrails. It’s in my nature. The only alternative is divorce.

–Billiard Hall, Elizabeth & Bowery