Someone Please Punch Her

Bitch: Oh hi! We were just speaking very poorly about you!

–Art Gallery, SoHo

Overheard by: Tibbie X

Posted on August 20, 2022
Biotechs, Insults, One-liners, Rumor Has It, Soho, Talking/Convos

Those Celebrity Perfumes Should Come with a Warning

Girl #1: So have you heard about all these alligators in Florida that have been eating women?
Girl #2: No
Girl #1: Yeah, like three women got eaten last week
Girl #2: That’s hilarious.
Girl #1: I know.

–F train between Jay & Bergen

Posted on July 8, 2022
Animals & Nature, Biotechs, Brooklyn, On the Subway

Wednesday One-liners Are Dead

Girl: Oh my gosh! You know what would be awesome? If lightning struck you, and you like got a permanent tan.

–34th & 8th

Overheard by: Glynnis

Woman: These invitations are really important! I mean, not only am I turning 40, but it’s a year to the day that I almost died!

–Staples, Union Square

Little girl: Hey Mom, there are dead people here too!

–X1 bus

Irish guy: Oh, what people don’t realize is that the Indians are
everywhere. They’re sprinkled around everywhere.

–First Prince Copy Center, Prince Street

Posted on June 25, 2022
Biotechs, Death, Girls, On the Bus, Soho, Union Square and East Village, Women

Although We All Start Out That Way

Biotech #1: He hired this blonde girl from Chicago… with pageant hair!
Biotech #2: Ew. Pageant hair? Hello, this is New York City. We aren’t blonde, and we aren’t perky!

–6 train

Posted on March 13, 2022
Beauty, Biotechs, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Jobs & Careers, On the Subway, Talking/Convos, U.S. Geography

I Hear Massachusetts Wedding Bells!

Dude: Hey, watch it! Hey!
Old guy: What?
Dude: That’s very rude.
Old guy: I said “excuse me”.
Dude: Well I didn’t hear it.
Old guy: Well maybe you should listen next time.
Dude: Well maybe you should kiss my ass, fag.
Old guy: Fuck off and die.

–Borders men’s room, 32nd & 2nd