Freshman ho #1: But… Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah… I’m, like, sooo good! I’ve been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.

Overheard by: newm

50-something female to Native American presenter in elementary school: Is it true that the arrival of whites changed your way of life?

Denver, Colorado

Girl: But Gandhi — he, like, did so much for the world. He helped humanity.
Guy: Yeah, but we still shouldn’t have to write a paragraph about him.

Flint Hall, Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York

Overheard by: ears burning

Frustrated neighbor: It’s only gay if we do it outside a vagina!

Derby, Connecticut

Overheard by: Jess

Recent college grad: Wait, you mean elephants are mammals?!

York, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: not a mammal either

Girl engineer: I should do LSD or something… Then I could, like, step outside my mind and solve all of these problems from, like, a greater depth of being.

Overheard by: the sinister minister

Punk gesticulating wildly to friends: Unlike Europeans, they have to earn their souls… And they never do, man, they never do!

Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: wtf?!

Genius #1, about Neil Armstrong: Wait, didn’t he win the Tour de– Oh, no, that was Lance Armstrong.
Genius #2: Wait, there are two of them? I thought the astronaut guy turned into the bike guy!

Rutgers bus
New Jersey

Dude: I don’t believe in AIDS. I think STDs are just negative energy.

Corda Bar
São Paulo

Blonde ditz: Oh my god, Philadelphia is, like, pockets!
Brunette ditz: I know, right? There are just sooooo many pockets!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: hands in my pockets