Dude #1: Dude, have you ever, y’know, worked with slop?
Dude #2: Yeah, I’ve done it.
Dude #1: No, seriously, dude — you’ve never been there… with the trough…
Dude #2: Dude, I totally have too done it.
Dude #1: When?
Dude #2: I dunno, man, but I’ve done it.

Overheard by: florack

Philosopher: The world would be a better place if everyone wore pants.

Overheard by: sarah

Ranting idiot: I mean, what the fuck? We live in the United States. It is 2006. There is no excuse for having fucking rotten teeth. I don’t care if she is your sister — brush your fucking teeth!

Town Hall Café
Empire, Colorado

Overheard by: try 2007 – TK

Man walking through automatic doors: Wow, it’s the store of the future. The doors open by themselves!

Louisville, Kentucky

Girl #1: I know for a fact this year is going to be way better than last year.
Girl #2: Why’s that?
Girl #1: Because this year I actually have designer clothes. Last year I didn?t have any, and I was so unhappy!

Overheard by:

Middle-aged white lady #1: I think I’m going to buy this for my daughter’s boyfriend’s parents. You know, because it’s oriental and they’re oriental.
Middle-aged white lady #2: That is so appropriate!

St. Augustine, Florida

Overheard by: Ruth

Guy: My sister and I are twins, but I was born first.
Woman #1: Do you mean you just came out first?
Guy: Well, see, what happened was I am two years older than my sister. [Everyone stares at each other.]Woman #2: … So you and your sister are twins, but she is two years younger?
Guy: Oh, wait, I’m getting confused with another family story. I am two years older than my sister, but I’m pretty sure we’re not twins, either.

900 West Valley Road
Wayne, Pennsylvania

Dumb blonde: Like that time we were at that party, and everyone was naked, and it was a surprise party!

State College, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: I bet it was a surprise, all right…

Guy #1: Hahaha!
Guy #2: What? What’s so funny?
Guy #1: Didn’t you see that?
Guy #2: See what?
Guy #1: Turd covered with flies!
Both guys: Hahaha!

Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: highlarious

Passenger #1 looking at map on screen: Oh, look — we’re over Montana right now.
Passenger #2: Montana’s in Canada! Cool!

Over Montana, British Airways flight

Overheard by: Confused Flyer