I Must Have Been Kirstie Alley’s Waiter at Some Point

Dude #1: Dude, have you ever, y’know, worked with slop?
Dude #2: Yeah, I’ve done it.
Dude #1: No, seriously, dude — you’ve never been there… with the trough…
Dude #2: Dude, I totally have too done it.
Dude #1: When?
Dude #2: I dunno, man, but I’ve done it.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-honking-update.html

Overheard by: florack

Posted on May 12, 2022
Gossip, Idiots, Overheard at Cornell

Unless They Were Capri Pants

Philosopher: The world would be a better place if everyone wore pants.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/05/well-yeah-duh.html

Overheard by: sarah

Posted on May 3, 2022
Idiots, Overheard in PDX, Philosophy

I’m Not Sticking My Dick Anywhere That Smells That Bad

Ranting idiot: I mean, what the fuck? We live in the United States. It is 2006. There is no excuse for having fucking rotten teeth. I don’t care if she is your sister — brush your fucking teeth!

Town Hall Café
Empire, Colorado

Overheard by: try 2007 – TK

Posted on March 25, 2022
Colorado, Health & Hygiene, Idiots

Give Him a Break. It’s Kentucky.

Man walking through automatic doors: Wow, it’s the store of the future. The doors open by themselves!

Louisville, Kentucky

Posted on August 7, 2021
Idiots, Kentucky, Technology

Feared I Might Inadvertently Become a Lesbian

Girl #1: I know for a fact this year is going to be way better than last year.
Girl #2: Why’s that?
Girl #1: Because this year I actually have designer clothes. Last year I didn?t have any, and I was so unhappy!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/06/15/sanity-and-happiness-are-an-impossible-combination-mark-twain/

Overheard by:

Posted on June 30, 2021
Canadia, Clothing, Compliments, Default, Girls, Idiots, Overheard at McGill, Students

As Appropriate As the Word “Oriental,” Anyway

Middle-aged white lady #1: I think I’m going to buy this for my daughter’s boyfriend’s parents. You know, because it’s oriental and they’re oriental.
Middle-aged white lady #2: That is so appropriate!

St. Augustine, Florida

Overheard by: Ruth

Posted on March 24, 2021
Florida, Idiots, Stupidity

Or, As Much So As Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger

Guy: My sister and I are twins, but I was born first.
Woman #1: Do you mean you just came out first?
Guy: Well, see, what happened was I am two years older than my sister. [Everyone stares at each other.]Woman #2: … So you and your sister are twins, but she is two years younger?
Guy: Oh, wait, I’m getting confused with another family story. I am two years older than my sister, but I’m pretty sure we’re not twins, either.

900 West Valley Road
Wayne, Pennsylvania