Yuppie: I myself don’t watch porn, but I am told by trustworthy sources that at least two-thirds of all pornographic movies have no artistic value.
— Lower East Side
Yuppie: I myself don’t watch porn, but I am told by trustworthy sources that at least two-thirds of all pornographic movies have no artistic value.
— Lower East Side
Guy yuppie: So, one of the interesting things about that movie is, remember I read that book by Neil Strauss all about how he picked up women? Well, a lot of the things the main character in that movie did are the things that Strauss advocates.
Girl yuppie: Okay, give me an example.
Guy yuppie: Well, you know how in one of their first meetings he proposed to her? That’s one of the things he suggests.
Girl yuppie: Is that why on our second date you proposed to me?
Guy yuppie: Uh, you know I only read that book after we started dating… So I did that on my own…
Girl yuppie: And doesn’t he just show you how to get a girl to have sex with you, not to have a relationship, and you weren’t looking just for sex, but a relationship, so what he wrote wouldn’t have applied to you, right?
Guy yuppie: Yeah, exactly.
–Outside a showing of The Science of Sleep, BAM
Guy on cell: OK, well, be safe. If you get raped make sure he wears a condom.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Daniel
Girl: Don’t let me talk to boys after I take blue pills.
–31st & 2nd
Girl #1: Sometimes he like to rape my ass.
Girl #2: Ew! Hee hee.
–outside The Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: Josh Neufeld
Girl #1: Well, she was raped.
Girl #2: I wasn’t really raped.
–Vertigo, 26th & 3rd
Yuppie chick #1: Sweetie, you’re going to get raped dressed like that.
Yuppie chick #2: No. I have an umbrella.
–Delancey & Allen
Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti
Merrill Lynch yuppie: I paid my girlfriend's rent! And her food! And I only get to have sex with her once a month! And it's been like this for my past two relationships! I think I can handle having sex five times a month…
Girl: That's too much!
Merrill Lynch yuppie: I make $1.5 million a year in Merrill Lynch!
–Tre Restaurant
Overheard by: D
Yuppie wife to husband: I bet I know what those stains are on your gloves…
Husband: I highly doubt I was fingering you with these gloves on.
–Whole Foods Escalator, Time Warner Center
Overheard by: A-Robb
Yuppie mom: Look, honey, that girl holds her daddy’s hand when they cross the street.
Little girl: What a slut!
Yuppie mom: What?! Where did you learn that phrase?!
Little girl: Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!
–8th & 2nd
Overheard by: What a Skank
Girl: I don’t want vegetarian pate, it’s too bougie.
Boyfriend: You live in Park Slope.
Stranger: True that!
–7th Ave& 11th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: Erin Sparling
Female yuppie: As a general rule of thumb, I think I should refrain from going to the Hustler Club with my male boss and co-workers from now on.
–Downtown C train
Overheard by: amused passenger
Yuppie: It was the most intense Hava Nagilah I’d ever seen.
–43rd & Lex
Yuppie, examining the New York Public Library: Wow, that library is such a waste of real estate!
–42nd & 5th Avenue
Overheard by: Reader Rabbit
Emo Girl to friend: Oh I love Whole Foods, its like Wal-Mart for Yuppies.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Addie Wagenknecht
Yuppie, to McDonald’s cashier: Do you have French vanilla capuccino?
–McDonald’s, 34th & 10th
Yuppie screenwriter girl: So I was a very precocious child. Or whatever, y'know. And I just wanted to explore that dynamic a little bit? Basically it's a buddy picture between the little me and the big me.
–14th & 8th
Yuppie woman: And what do I say to that? "I have a smack habit, give me money"!
–St. Mark's Place
Yuppie man: If I hear "breast milk cupcakes" one more time…
–Outside Gotham Bar and Grill
Yuppie, thoughtfully: It's not the mustard, it's what the mustard represents!
–Food Emporium, 2nd Ave
