Manhattan

Girl #1: I don’t know how I got pregnant.
Girl #2: Well, don’t you use birth control?
Girl #1: Yes! That’s why I don’t understand. Right after I had sex I squirted in a lot of that birth control foam cream stuff.
Girl #2: After? You’re supposed to put it in before. That’s why it prevents pregnancy.
Girl #1: Oh? I didn’t know that.
Girl #2: You know you oughta get a IUD. There’s nothing to remember or know, they just stick it in there and you can like keep it in there forever!
Girl #1: Who sticks it in?
Girl #2: Forget it. Just go to the doctor like right away like yesterday. Uh, I mean as soon as possible.

–1st & 1st

Overheard by: Deborah Olin

Guy #1: Is this that beer I left here last time?
Girl: No, I just can’t open it.

He tries to, fails, and says: Oh I see, you mean you can’t open it physically.
Guy #2: As opposed to what, metaphorically?

–UES apartment

Overheard by: ian

Guy on cell: …so then he just punched me, yeah! Just punched me right in the face. Well I figured I oughta get dressed and leave her room, yeah, he was pissed…No, she’s his only kid.

–Empire State Building

Man: I never met a necrophiliac, but my friend met one at Bellevue.

–La Grolla, UWS

Cashier: Do you want anything on it?
Buyer: What?
Cashier: Do you want anything on your hot dog?
Buyer: Yes.
Cashier: What would you like?
Buyer: Nothing.

–Papaya’s, 86th & 3rd

Old man #1: I must have my cloaking device on today! Ha, ha.
Old man #2: Get the fuck out of my way, asshole.
Old man #1: Damn Klingons.

–D’Agostino, Greenwich Street

Overheard by: nick

Guy: What were you doing when I walked in this morning?
Girl: Putting on my pantyhose.
Guy: You looked like a turtle. Don’t ever make me see that again.

–46th & 3rd

Overheard by: MeliV

Chick #1: So was he cute?
Chick #2: He was cute enough.
Chick #1: What does that mean?
Chick #2: I mean, like, I wouldn’t lick his butt or anything.
Chick #1: Ew!
Chick #2: Oh, like you never licked a guy’s butt!
Chick #1: I should never have told you that.

–3rd Avenue & 11th Street

Overheard by: Manhattman

Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Italian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Italian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek!

–30th & 3rd

Woman: Did you call Giuliani? Call in a favor?
Man: I tried, but….
Woman: After all you did for him after 9/11. What a slap in the face.

–Parking garage, 53rd & 5th