Little boy #1: I’m telling you, Elvis lives, man.
Little boy #2: Where’s my mom?
–187th & Ft. Washington
Overheard by: yum
Little boy #1: I’m telling you, Elvis lives, man.
Little boy #2: Where’s my mom?
–187th & Ft. Washington
Overheard by: yum
Girl: What if I Bobsted?
Guy: I can’t believe you are asking me this.
Girl: Do you think my parents would at least get the 50 thousand back?
–Hayden Hall Residence elevator, Washington Square West
Chick on cell: I just fell asleep! It’s not like I’m seeing other people.
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: Cresny
Chick: You told me you was a celebrity! I sucked yo dick!
–Union Square
Chick: I’m no whore. I told him, the closest you’re getting to getting me from behind, you know, doggie style, is licking your own balls and humping my leg.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: stuck in great kills
Man: I’m, like, the MacGyver of orthoscopic surgery.
–David Copperfield’s, York Avenue
Girl: I don’t know what would have happened to me if I hadn’t gone back to school. I’d probably be dead or in jail or pregnant and living in Brooklyn or something.
–F train
Overheard by: Heather
Goth guy on cell: You can’t divide by infinity! Infinity is a concept, not a number! How many times do I have to tell you that?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Lesley Brooke
Fat lady: I was Rubenesque before I was fat.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Dawn
Dude #1: I didn’t brush my tongue this morning.
Dude #2: Yeah, I didn’t have a cigarette.
Dude #1: No, I saw a sign that said, “Have you brushed your tongue today?”
Dude #3: No, you just have to go to the bathroom and throw up a little and then you’ll be all set.
–Union Square
Overheard by: tanechka
Guy: Man, you think Lee Harvey Oswald had good aim? You should meet my wife.
–B train
Overheard by: Jess Issacharoff
Woman: Her bridal shower was her sweet sixteen.
–F train
Queer on cell: Hi, Sweetie!…What? You got married? But honey, you’re gay!
–63rd & 3rd
Chick on cell: So did I tell you about the e-mail I got? This guy I met on-line, on Nerve–we went out on like three dates, like a year and a half ago. Yeah, so I got an e-mail from his wife and she was like, “Yo bitch, stay away from my husband.” So I wrote back, “Don’t e-mail me, e-mail your husband who’s been cheating on you for two fucking years.”
–33rd & Park
Teen girl: Yeah, he’s really lonely since his wife died 3 years ago. Now his best friend is his right hand and some skin lotion.
–Park Slope
Guy: Hey, how’s my wife and your kids?
–55th & Madison
Overheard by: Matt
Man on cell: I ain’t trying to see you nothin’. I want to marry you. I’m tellin you the truth. T-R-U-F-F. The Truth!
–Atlantic Avenue gas station
Overheard by: Megan
Gate agent: You need to listen to me. Don’t listen to your wife. Your wife doesn’t work here.
–Newark airport
Overheard by: jk
Guy: Lady, you got great legs.
Lady: I’m a lesbian!
Guy: Okay, you’re a lesbian who got great legs.
Lady: Oh…well, thanks.
–57th & Park
Overheard by: Heather
Kids break into the subway intercom.
Kid on intercom: Yo, this is the express train motherfucker. If you don’t like it, suck my dick.
College kid: This isn’t the express train.
–1 train, 86th st.
Overheard by: Mayor of Hartley
Man, during intermission of Chicago: Did you see the chorus girl with the long auburn hair?
Woman: Yeah?
Man: I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her in porn on the internet.
Woman, annoyed: Well, when we get home maybe you can find out for sure.
Man: I’m not saying she can’t sing!
–Ambassador Theatre, W 49th
Overheard by: Big Larry
Guy: Yo, did you hear what Bush wants to do? He wants to get rid of financial aid for college.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Yeah…soon we all gon’ have to be drug dealers. Seeing crackheads will be normal.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: clari
