A suit drops his cell phone on the sidewalk and yells: Fuck!
Tourist dad: Oh my, did you hear what that man said in public?
Tourist mom: And this is the exact reason why I don’t want you to move to New York!
–71st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ellen
A suit drops his cell phone on the sidewalk and yells: Fuck!
Tourist dad: Oh my, did you hear what that man said in public?
Tourist mom: And this is the exact reason why I don’t want you to move to New York!
–71st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ellen
Lady: I come here every weekend. It’s my church.
–Manhattan Mall women’s bathroom
Overheard by: Dolly Lowenstein
Guy: She became a Republican to spite our father.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Woman: I really hate Bush. I can’t stand him. The world would be such a better place if he just died…But then there’s Cheney…
–6 train
Drunk guy: You wait right here, I’m going home to get my gun, I’ll be right back!
–23rd between 8th & 9th
Guy: This is the guy I got arrested with in San Antonio for pissing on the Alamo.
–LES party
Overheard by: Caz
Man #1: So what are you going to do this weekend?
Man #2: I thought we could go to my farm and you could ride my tractor.
Man #1: Oh yeah, that sounds great.
–Midtown elevator
Overheard by: Max Seddon
Girl on cell: Do you think any galleries will be open on Sunday?
–21st & Broadway
Woman: He didn’t come here to be Korean; he moved here to be a hipster. Then he realized he could open a store, and he turned Korean.
–2nd Avenue & 6th Street
Private School girl: So is, like, everything in this place by Chanel?
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Man: What do you mean, you ran out of keys? How does a hotel run out of keys?
–The Hotel on Rivington
Overheard by: Joe Quint
Queer: Well I figured I make $7 an hour at Journey’s working full time. So if I cut back to part time and get a second job making $7 an hour, I’ll be making $14 an hour and I can pay all my bills!
–Nederlander Theater, West 41st Street
Overheard by: Nomi Malone
Woman: I stopped smoking six months ago, and now I’m lubricating so much better. I’m always wet at the right time.
–Lexington & 55th Deli
Guy: Is it raining?
Girl: No.
Guy: Then why the fuck am I getting wet?
Girl: Because it’s drizzling.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Guy #1: She says she usually needs to make out for like a half hour before she starts to get wet.
Guy #2: You should just use your spit.
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: J.
Girl #1: Stop coughing! Who the fuck do you think you are?
Girl #2: John Lennon.
Girl #1: No. You’re not.
–6th Avenue & 11th Street
Guy: …it’s just part of my ineffable charm!
Girl: If “ineffable” means “unfuckable” you’re right on the money.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Manhattman
Guy: I got both, bitch! I got a pussy and a dick!
–6th Avenue & 9th Street
Chick: He was my rag guy! What am I going to do now? I’m gonna dry up. If you stick your ear up to my vagina you’re going to hear the fucking desert like it’s a seashell.
–43rd & 5th
Overheard by: James Wilson
Burkha woman: …when you remove a man’s genitals, it’s a sin.
–Port Authority
Guy on cell: I’m busy. I’m getting my dick sucked right now.
–4 train
Overheard by: LatiE
Guy: It wasn’t till I started college that I realized they had botched the circumcision. We had all just flopped them out and I was like, “Dude, what is wrong with yours?”, and they were like, “No man, it’s you, what the fuck happened to you? It looks like the fucking rings of saturn.”
–38th & 3rd
Suit: If you’re a dick you can do anything.
–Maiden Lane & Pearl Street
Overheard by: SKG
Man on cell: So I was trying to take a pee and she kept talking to me, so then my dick got hard and I couldn’t pee.
–25th & 5th
Overheard by: Ian Wheeler-Nicholson
Lady on cell: He’s a hermaphrodite…he was born that way…his grandparents, thats why. Genetic mutations and stuff.
–50th & Madison
Chick: But he has a pierced dick! They don’t sell that shit in stores!
–SI party
Overheard by: Rebecca Dash
Woman: This block has the best garbage!
–2nd Avenue & 8th Street
Girl on cell: We’ve already got plans again for this weekend. I’m really excited about this guy; he’s great. He’s really driven, really ready to succeed. He’s a doctor…No, not in real life, on TV.
–57th & Lexington
Overheard by: Heather
White guy: That wasn’t the best day of my life, though. The best day was the day after my birthday when I recoverd my hard drive.
–Astoria party
Overheard by: Noah Starr
Man on cell: I like them shoes with the ruffle. The ones you wore to the Olive Garden that one time.
–Broadway & Prince
Girl: In theory…I was going to end that sentence with, “the dolphins will be OK.”
–7 train
Overheard by: Amado Angel
Lady: Well, he’s an ex-junkie, an alcoholic, mean-tempered, a practicing bisexual, and he has hepatitus C. But he’s a wonderful man and, as guys like that go, he does have great taste in jewelry.
–Midtown office
Girl #1: You know, if you think all songs are sung by a penis, they suddenly become funny.
Girl #2: You are high, you know that?
–91st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: SexyJewThang
