Party girl: Did you see Mark last night? I mean, he was doing coke off a hooker's ass.
Party queer, pouting: I so did that last week, and no one even said anything…

–Third North Courtyard, NYU

Overheard by: this is why I don't want anyone to know I go to NYU

Drunk girl #1: Yo, I have coke in my boob.
Drunk girl #2: Yeah, right, you so don’t. [Drunk girl #1 shows boob] Holy shit, you do!

–Brooklyn-bound 2 train

Overheard by: horny

Dude: Hey! Good to see you… What are you doing here? I thought you were at Beth Israel?
Waitress on smoke break: Yeah, I was in the OR until they caught me in the janitor’s closet doing coke.

–St Mark’s Pl & Ave A

Overheard by: Vegas

Seven-year-old boy: You know Britney's on crack, she's on crack. And your girl Lindsay is so going to jail for selling cocaine. That Britney is crazy.
Aunt: That boy watches too much TV.


Overheard by: I think lindsay is going to jail too

Flustered queer student: I’m working for the next four days. I’m just glad I have a steady job now.
Hungover queer student: Yeah. I called about my job today, so hopefully I’ll be working tomorrow.
Flustered queer student: I’m so glad we’re both working now, because we need to be blowing more cocaine.

–12th & 5th

Dude #1: It’s not like you did anything for me…
Dude #2: I brought the cocaine… I brought cocaine for you at my engagement party!

–Rumsey Field, Central Park

Overheard by: Jet Black

Columbia student #1: It’s funny how many kids do coke at this school… Actually, it’s disgusting.
Columbia student #2: Wait, but you just bought an eightball a few hours ago.
Columbia student #1: Oh, yeah.

–116th & Broadway

Overheard by: keith smith

Hipster #1: I love it when my nose starts bleeding all over the fucking place. That just makes my day.
Hipster #2: Yeah, that’s good times.
Hispter #1: I should probably quit doing coke.
Hipster #2: Yeah, probably.

–Starbucks, Delancey & Allen

Overheard by: not a hipster, I swear

College girl to friend: Tonight’s goal is to make out with a cokehead.

–7th St

Guy #1: You have a problem with that shit.
Guy #2: I don’t like doing coke, I just like the way it smells.


Overheard by: Chris Nixon