Queer: You remind me of that girl Audrina on the hills!
Girl resembling Audrina: Yeah, I've heard that before. I've also heard Lindsay Lohan, but that's mostly because of my coke habit.
–Splash Bar
Queer: You remind me of that girl Audrina on the hills!
Girl resembling Audrina: Yeah, I've heard that before. I've also heard Lindsay Lohan, but that's mostly because of my coke habit.
–Splash Bar
Chick: Hey, remember that time when you snorted coke off that stripper’s ass?
Dude: Yeah!
–Scruffy Duffy’s, 46th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Lauren DeGasperis
Tall guy: Maybe I should just move to his pad…
Short guy: You can’t live with him, you’ll never get any work done with all the strippers and piles of coke everywhere. He lives too large for me.
Tall guy: [long pause] Yeeeaaah!
–PATH
Overheard by: green eyed evesdropper
Queer #1: Kiss me. [Kisses queer #2.] Do I taste like it?
Queer #2: I don’t know what coke tastes like. Oh. Sorry, that was pretty loud.
–33rd & 7th
Conductor: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, there’s a slight delay due to reports of somebody smoking crack… and other stuff… on the back of the train.
–Church Ave
Overheard by: Katie & Jaime
Teen girl, to older woman: You ‘posed to eat. Ain’t ‘posed to smoke no rock!
–Classon & DeKalb
Queer in RA’s office: Now, when we got there they were selling hash brownies and weed muffins — we were in Amsterdam — and everyone else was trying some, so I figured I would, too. Then we went to the Anne Frank Museum, and of course that’s when they started kicking in…
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Wishes he heard the rest of the story
Man on cell: I know, but then they started smoking crack on stage.
–10th St & Stuyvesant
Guy on cell: I’m at Stuy High… Whaddya mean ya don’t know what that is?! Gotta know where the weed’s at!
–Near Stuyvesant High
Man to concerned woman: Don’t think of it as buying weed from a drug dealer. Think of it as supporting a cottage industry.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: amused priest
Wannabe socialite #1: God, I hate everyone in this part of town.
Wannabe socialite #2: I know, right? I mean… they walk so slowly, and talk so much nonsense.
(pause)
Wannabe socialite #1: The coke hangover can’t help though, can it?
Wanna be socialite #2: Definitely not.
–Broadway & Spring
Flyer guy: Smile, you're on Broadway! (singing) You're never fully dressed…when you're naked! (stops singing) So come to New York's best improvisational comedy club! Be there, or be someplace else!
–Times Square
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Annoying man outside comedy club, to passerby: Do you like stand-up comedy? (passerby ignores him keeps walking) Do you like free alcohol? (passerby keeps walking) Do you like ignoring me? (passerby turns head and nods)
–Broadway
Overheard by: Wojo
Comedy show ticket salesman to couple: So, what are you two doing tonight…besides each other?
–Broadway & 49th St
Overheard by: Theo
Ticket guy to walking couple: Do you like comedy or do you just do each other? Maybe that's all you need.
–51st & 8th
Overheard by: PartyByNight
Street vendor: Want to see a comedy show for $10? Free drinks! Cheaper than crack cocaine!
–42nd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: gradstudent
Comedy club flyer guy: Blah, blah, blah, take my flyer!
–Times Square
Overheard by: No flyer, but props for the delivery
Girl: What happened?
Guy: Man, that girl brushed up on me, so I turned around, and the bitch said, “Don’t fucking look at me!” and she slapped me!
Girl: Really?!
Guy: And then my girl just starting beating on her!
Girlfriend: Haha yeah! Did you see all that blood?
Guy: Girl must have been coked out for it to come spilling out like that.
Girl: It was crazy! We didn’t know what was going on!
Girlfriend: Its like that time at the club when I took off my shoe!
–Kellogg Diner, Brooklyn
Woman: I smell crack comin’. I’m not buggin’, right?
–Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Mike Epstein
Stumbling woman: Shit, my eyesight’s so fucking good, I can find crack in the motherfuckin’ snow!
–Bowery mission
Overheard by: lancelot quintana
Chick: Do you ever wonder if we’ll get tired of being so rich? You know, like what if later in life we randomly, like, decide to renounce our possessions or something drastic and move to Africa?
Man: What, are you saying you don’t enjoy our lifestyle anymore?
Chick: I don’t know… hey, do you wanna get some coke later?
–82nd & 1st
Overheard by: chuzzle in space
