Flustered queer student: I’m working for the next four days. I’m just glad I have a steady job now.
Hungover queer student: Yeah. I called about my job today, so hopefully I’ll be working tomorrow.
Flustered queer student: I’m so glad we’re both working now, because we need to be blowing more cocaine.
–12th & 5th
Dude #1: It’s not like you did anything for me…
Dude #2: I brought the cocaine… I brought cocaine for you at my engagement party!
–Rumsey Field, Central Park
Overheard by: Jet Black
Columbia student #1: It’s funny how many kids do coke at this school… Actually, it’s disgusting.
Columbia student #2: Wait, but you just bought an eightball a few hours ago.
Columbia student #1: Oh, yeah.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: keith smith
Hipster #1: I love it when my nose starts bleeding all over the fucking place. That just makes my day.
Hipster #2: Yeah, that’s good times.
Hispter #1: I should probably quit doing coke.
Hipster #2: Yeah, probably.
–Starbucks, Delancey & Allen
Overheard by: not a hipster, I swear
College girl to friend: Tonight’s goal is to make out with a cokehead.
–7th St
Guy #1: You have a problem with that shit.
Guy #2: I don’t like doing coke, I just like the way it smells.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Chris Nixon
Young punk #1: Where's the fucking n train? Can we get NRW in this shit… (pause) So my friend was all coked out and fucking this girl in the ass, then he totally lost it and started pissing right in her asshole.
Young punk #2: Woah…did she notice?
Young punk #1: Of course she noticed, he was pissing in her fucking asshole! (train arrives) Oh, sweet, it's the n!
Young punk #2: Yes! Astoria represent!
–Union Square, Waiting for the NRW
Hobo: It’s not like I even mean to keep talking. I don’t wanna keep talking. They fucked up when they started making Taco Bell Doritos. They take away the molasses! Why? Because they know I like it. I smoked crack with the FBI. Hasta la vista, nigger. Next time I see you, I’m gonna blow crack smoke into your head, you fucking bitch.
–W Train
Girl #1: I mean, really, she was doing cocaine at her father’s memorial service.
Girl #2: I know. Me and Ashley were like, “We’re no prudes, but there’s such a thing as decorum.”
–84th & Madison
Sorority girl #1: No, really, tanning is, like, my downfall.
Queer: Please, how often can you possibly tan?
Sorority girl #1: Constantly. I’m, like, a certified tanaholic. It’s a real problem. Hey! Heather! What would you say my biggest addiction is?
Sorority girl #2: Um, I dunno…coke?
Awkward silence ensues.
–27th & Madison
