Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Teen guy #1: And that was the third time I got syphilis!
(they enter store, then leave)
Teen guy #2: So, tell me about the second time.

–Metro North Station

Overheard by: theslyvegan and co

Girl to friend: Fucking prick!
Hobo: Girl, you nasty. You nasty, but I’d still do ya.

–6 train platform, 33rd St

Hobo, singing: Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb! Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was…
Man, holding out dollar: I will give you one dollar to shut the fuck up.
Hobo: (shuts up)

–14th St Subway Station

Hot girl #1: It’s the guy on the end of the train.
Hot girl #2: Wow. It’s amazing the human body can smell like that and still be alive.

–Coney Island‐bound F train

Girl: How can homeless people even afford to ride the subway?
Guy: I wonder if they think of their MetroCard as a business investment.

–N train

Overheard by: Daniel Motta 

Girl #1: Like, I used to either black out or throw up, not both. But lately, I have only been blacking out!
Girl #2: Well, which do you prefer?
Girl #1: Actually, I prefer blacking out.
Girl #2: Oh, really? Id rather throw up.

–6 platform, Union Square

Teenage girl #1: Then he was kissing my forehead a lot after we hooked up so I told everyone there he was gay.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah, that is really gay.

–Houston St station

Gay guy to friend: I may be gay but I’m not stupid.

–The Flame Diner, 58th St & 9th Ave

Woman to man: But they were only stopping the dumbasses… That’s why they stopped your dumb ass.

–W 66th St & Amsterdam Ave

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

(Blonde is having trouble hailing cab during rush hour)
Gypsy cab driver in town car: No one will take you cuz you’re stupid!

–116th & Broadway

20‐something guy to girl: It’s eleven and it will take you till one to get home, then I’ll call you and tell you how stupid you are.

–4th St Subway Station

Overheard by: Glad I’m not dating him

Girl: Alexis, we’ve been over this. You’re stupid.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Crosby

Bimbette, yelling into cell: Yo! Look who you’re talking to – I’m not exactly the smartest person in the world!

–Amsterdam Ave

Overheard by: dumb as a rock

L. Ron Hubtard: Do you have stress?
Man: I live in New York, what the fuck do you think? “Do I have stress?” Fuck you.

–Times Square station

Overheard by: ichi gami

Girl #1: I have an idea, why don’t we keep the doors open so even more people can pack in? Are we close enough yet?
Guy: Yeah. I could start crowd surfing.
Girl #1: It just sucks being squeezed in like this. Especially when you have to get off at the next stop–
Guy: Like you are going to do.
Girl #1: –and people won’t get out of the way. It’s like they don’t understand that you have to get off. This time I’m going to be like, “Bitches, get out of my way!”
Guy: Yeah.
Girl #1: I’m just trying to find one thing about this that doesn’t suck and I’ve got nothing.
Guy: Me either.
Girl #1: This is a nightmare…It’s so annoying to be forced to be so close to so many people in such a small space–
Girl #2: Yeah, it is really annoying, especially when you are forced to hear someone else’s conversation.
Guy: Whoa! What timing. 

–L train