There’s Wednesday One-liners All Over Town

FishBowlNY chick: Not only do you blog about everything, you blog in five different blogs about everything.

–Slainte, The Bowery

Hipster guy: Everyone keeps asking me why I’m sad, and I’m like, “I’m not sad, I’m from New York.”

–St. Mark’s between 1st & A

Overheard by: Danny G.

Woman: I have some friends, and they lived in Brooklyn all they lives, and they ain’t ever been to Kings Plaza Shopping Mall. They so limited!

–5 train

Tourist woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where the big apple is?

–43rd & Broadway

Overheard by: katie cunningham

Woman: What I love most about New York is that wherever you go, in every neighborhood, there’s garbage on the curb. To me, that’s democracy.

–University & 11th

Lady: You never see girls wearing shorts in New York City unless they’re tourists.

–57th & Broadway

Guy on cell: Well I’m sorry, Princess, if New York doesn’t smell like a bed of roses!

–Church & Worth

Overheard by: Becka Dash

NY Post guy: This boat is bootlegged! It won’t turn left!

–Penn Station

NY Post guy: Read all about it! Discovery shuttle is a bootleg…doesn’t work…can’t turn left. Read all about it!

–Penn Station

Overheard (correctly) by: Toon

Posted on November 29, 2025
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Directions, Fashion, Hipsters, Internet, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Only in New York, Penn Station, Places, Pop Culture, Shopping, Street, Topics, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Women

The Trainables Take Manhattan

Tourist mom: Well, the sticker there next to the door says this is the 2029 train, find that on the map–
NY guy: This is the R train, and that is a bus map.

–R train

Overheard by: Angelo Colucci

Tourist woman: So what do you call this?
Tourist guy: The subway.
Tourist woman: Oh.

–1 train

Overheard by: B. Howard

Tourist mom: So we just wait and the trains come right here?

–1/2/3 34th Street station

Overheard by: Adele

A tourist couple gets on at Times Square. It stops at 72nd next.

Tourist girl: Is this our stop?
Tourist guy: No, they said to take it two stops, we’ve only gone one.

The train continues on to stop at 96th.

Tourist girl: Wait, is this near the stop for Grand Central Station?

–2 train

The train car had no air conditioning so the door between cars was kept open to let in a breeze. A lady steps on the train, stands near the opened door, and then closes it.

Seated lady: We need the air!
Standing lady: It’s not safe.
Seated lady: It’s too hot in here. We kept it open to get some air.
Standing lady: But it’s not safe. I could get sucked out the door.

–2 train

Overheard by: Ebonita

Posted on November 2, 2025
On the Subway, Public Transportation, Stupidity, Tourists

If It’s Not Hairspray It’s Horseshit

Tourist mom: What Broadway show should we see?
NY guy: Well, Wicked is good.
Tourist mom: I got five kids with me. You think I’m gonna pay? I meant what Broadway show can we see that we don’t have to pay for.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Peter Shankman

Posted on October 29, 2025
Broadway Shows, Times Square, Tourists

Wednesday One-liners Have Their Boarding Passes Ready

Tourist mom: First the Muppets took Manhattan, now us!

–Marriott Marquis, Times Square

Overheard by: G. Star

Tourist lady: What floor are the Renaissance paintings on?

–MoMA

Guy: …it’s the same as terrorism. If we’re against terrorism, then we’re against tourism.

–50th & 8th

Overheard by: B. Howard

Tourist guy: I’ll have two of your ordinary coffees for purchase.

–Dunkin’ Donuts, Penn Station

Overheard by: devila

Aussie woman: Excuse me…Can you tell me how to get to Greenwich Village?

–5th Avenue & 8th Street

Tourist lady: …and then we went to that big church. You know, the big one? St. Peter’s. The one the Kennedys went to. It’s on 5th street. It’s, like, the largest church in the world or something.

–Central Park East

Tourist guy: Oh, we definitely saw all the important things in the city today. I think the best was F.O.A. Schwartz though.

–Mulberry Street

Overheard by: Bernie Mc

Tourist guy: Hey, is that Central Park?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Chris Ghirardi

Tourist chick: Hey, is that Central Park?

–42nd & 6th

Overheard by: Beks

Tourist boy: Mom! We’re almost at double-u twenty-four street!

–M20 bus

Girl on cell: Let’s wear matching polo shirts and film each other eating with handheld digital cameras! Oh sorry, I’m in Times Square, and I was beginning to think that kind of behavior was normal.

–Times Square

Teen tourist boy: This ain’t no Chinatown. Shit.

–Broadway & Broome

Overheard by: Aileen Gallagher

Posted on October 22, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Manhattan, One-liners, Only in New York, Street, Tourists, Travel

“See, I heard they have dropped calls here all the time.”

A suit drops his cell phone on the sidewalk and yells: Fuck!
Tourist dad: Oh my, did you hear what that man said in public?
Tourist mom: And this is the exact reason why I don’t want you to move to New York!

–71st & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Ellen

Posted on September 21, 2025
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Anger Management, Cell Phone, Dads, Gadgets, Manhattan, Moms, Parents, People, Places, Suits, Topics, Tourists, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Sure Sounds Like “Yes” to Me…

Tourist guy: Excuse me! Are you a New Yorker?
Woman: No!

–34th & 7th

Man: Do you want to go into any of these shops?
Woman: Um…
Man: Oh, that’s a yes. Whenever a woman responds with anything other than an emphatic “no”, it means yes.

–78th & Madison