20‐something male tourist: What’s the crowd like here?
20‐something male New Yorker: Random cougars.
–Line at Club, Meatpacking District
20‐something male tourist: What’s the crowd like here?
20‐something male New Yorker: Random cougars.
–Line at Club, Meatpacking District
Professor: All the buildings in Florence are five stories high, because they were built before elevators, and that’s how many stories you can walk up with groceries before you die.
–Fordham University
20‐something tourist girl to family, about subway: It’s like an elevator, but opposite.
–N Train
Bimbette: I, like, ran into them in the elevator and they, like, literally gang‐banged me.
–Astoria
20‐something woman: Do you think he ever found out I didn’t fall down an elevator shaft?
–F Train
Old lady tourist: Excuse me sir, do you know where the Chinatown is?
Flaming gay Asian guy: Yeah. It’s downtown. Just follow the smell, girl… Follow that smell!
–Canal St
Overheard by: InShock
Tourist #1: I want a soda, but I don’t see it on the menu.
Tourist #2: They don’t have soda here?
Tourist #3: I don’t see any drinks on the menu at all.
Tourist #1: This place’ll never make it without soda.
–Carnegie Deli, 54th & 7th
Overheard by: Sitting at the table next to them, three feet away
Tourist #1: Wait, where are we?
Skater kid: Fuckin’ Earth man, fucking Earth.
Tourist #2: Wait, where?
–Bethesda Fountain, Central Park
President: Are they de‐seminating the office?…I mean decimating?
–40th & Madison Ave
Overheard by: EScrillz
Girl reading poster: The fastest… (pause) “fastest.” Is that a word?
–42nd St AMC Theatre
Overheard by: Steph
Man on cell: Yeah, well that’s what the beasting is for!
–Penn Station
Woman to friends: You know me, I say what I speak.
–Fordham Road
Frenchman trying to learn English: I was a beef with those potatoes!
–TGI Fridays, Times Square
Overheard by: CS
Hipster art student to friend: As much as…like…whatever, like.
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: I guess that’s English
Tourist: I feel so elated! Wait…no, I mean, “violated.”
–Uptown 3 Train
Overheard by: Sally Tempo
Tourist #1: I can’t wait to leave New York.
Tourist #2: It’s not for claustrophobes.
–Times Square
Frat tourist guy: Hey! I just hailed a New York City cab!
New Yorker, jumping into cab: I just stole your cab!
–Bleecker & Hudson
Overheard by: sean
Pretty tourist #1: Do you think they’ll ever have the Tour de France in New York?
Pretty tourist #2: No, you moron. (beat) There aren’t enough hills.
–47th & 7th, Fashion District
Overheard by: Zac
