Suit on cell: I just landed in Maine. I mean San Diego. What am I thinking?

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: weary traveler

Train conductor, to teenage girl with feet on chair: Can you read? (points to sign)
Teenage girl: What…? Oh, sorry. (takes her feet down, conductor walks away)
Suit: He would have never done that if you were a guy.

New Jersey Transit

40-something suit: You know how sometimes you can love a dog so much it's, like, illegal?
40-something woman: (looks at him blankly)
40-something suit: You know? So that it's, like, illegal?
40-something woman, looking straight ahead: Umm, let's look at Halloween candy.

Overheard by: I love my dog, but not that much

Lady in suit to man in wheelchair: Well, you're quick on your feet, I'll give you that. You're quick on your feet… Oh.

Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Julianna

40-something suit #1: So you remember when I was dying of melanoma?
40-something suit #2: Is that when you couldn't go on the golf trip with the boss?
40-something suit #1: Yes, that was it!

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: MilwaukeeBabe

Suit #1: So you live in the Watergate.
Suit #2: I do. The famous Watergate complex.
Suit #1: It's famous?
Suit #2: Yeah–the Nixon scandal and everything.
Suit #1: Oh–I don't really follow current events.

Greenpeace volunteer handing out pamphlets: Sir, do you want to help save the environment?
Suit: Absolutely not.

Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts

Angry suit: When is this plane going to take off? I have a very important meeting to get to!
Flight attendant: The incoming plane is delayed, sir, there's nothing we can do at the moment.
Angry suit: Well, are you going to make arrangements for me to get on another flight? This is urgent! Do you know who I am?
Flight attendant (over loudspeaker): Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, there is a gentleman at the desk who does not know who he is. If anyone has any information about his identity, please come forward.

Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois

Worried suit: That’s why we get our chairs cleaned more than any other department. We get our chairs cleaned every three months. Why doesn’t anyone put a stop to this?

Metro Bus
Seattle, Washington

Guy in suit: I said, “It’s better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now.”

Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Jo