Suit #1: …and he’s been playing on that game City of Heroes for two months straight now.
Suit #2: You reckon he’s still alive?
Suit #1: Well, he’s been typing nothing but “J” for a whole week on MSN.
–JFK
Overheard by: Pete Jones
Suit #1: …and he’s been playing on that game City of Heroes for two months straight now.
Suit #2: You reckon he’s still alive?
Suit #1: Well, he’s been typing nothing but “J” for a whole week on MSN.
–JFK
Overheard by: Pete Jones
Bi guy #1: So do you have a lot of threesomes?
Bi guy #2: My girlfriend likes to see me take it up the ass. She’s weird like that.
–Chelsea taxicab
Teen girl #1: How do you know it’s uncomfortable?
Teen girl #2: Just put something in your ass and walk around with it.
Teen girl #1: In your ass?
Teen girl #2: Well, on your ass.
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: Sara R.
Drunk suit: Can I have a gin and tonic?
Irish barman: Only if you have an enema with you, ’cause I’m going to shove it up your arse when I’m done.
–Nancy Whiskey Pub, Lispenard Street
Man: I thought you were the type who made coffee at home.
Woman: I can easily make coffee at home. I’m having tea.
–Starbucks, 81st & Columbus
Care for Kids fundraiser: Excuse me, can I talk to you real quick? I know you’re in a rush but this will only take a second.
Suit: Sorry, I don’t care.
–Maiden Lane & Water Street
Overheard by: Jack C.
Black guy: And another thing: I’m tired of eating you out every night!
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: RelaxLove
Power suit woman on cell: Well, you just have to get on top of it and ride it out.
–Madison Square park
Black chick: That nigger was pussy!
–14th Street & Broadway
Businessman: …and once word gets out that you like to fuck girls with no legs, everybody thinks you’re a freak!
Crony: Yeah, I bet.
Businessman: I’ll send you the pictures.
–Maiden Lane & Water St.
Overheard by: Dave Kelleher
Suit #1: So what did you think of the title I handed in for [Henderson]’s new job?
Suit #2: I was in Albany when you sent that out. I didn’t get a chance to read it.
Suit #1: I was going to write “potentate” but I wasn’t sure that I could spell it!
Suit #3: Well, most Caesars were murdered…
–Burger Heaven, 49th St.
Suit #1: Have you heard of that guy, Usher?
Suit #2: No, should I have?
Suit #1: You know, he’s one of those guys with the underwear hanging out of the back of their pants.
Suit #2: You know what? If someone doesn’t know what size pants to wear, then I don’t need to know them.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: marissa
Suit #1: …I wasn’t trying to make her mad or anything. I just want to know how she feels without it.
Suit #2: I hear you. I don’t even know what sex without a condom would be like.
–Union Square
20-something female shopkeeper to coworker, as Michael Jackson's "Rock with You" plays on the radio: Did you hear he's sick? Apparently, he's in the hospital. I know, it's crazy. Can you imagine if he dies? If he dies, that'll be, like, the most awful thing to happen to America in years!
–Pet Food Store
Overheard by: Nathalie
Suit on cell: What if Michael Jackson sucking your dick was the cure for cancer?
–8th & Broadway
Man, lighting cigarette: So what'd he die from? A sunburn?
–Chambers St. & West Broadway
Middle aged black lady on cell: If you can get Michael Jackson on a condom box it would definitely sell.
–MacDougal & 8th St
Nine-year-old boy, pointing to a newspaper article, to younger sister: Oh yeah, that guy? He was fifty. He used to be a black guy but made himself become white.
–Canal & Orchard, Chinatown
Overheard by: Lauren T.
Large tattooed man, discussing Michael Jackson: One of those kids is his; the other two can't be, they're white. They were all unofficially inseminated, though.
–Delancey & Essex
