They Are Currently in Place

Well-dressed man to female companion, in crowded tasting room: Did you remember the dildo?
Elegant lady companion: Yes, I brought both of them.

Napa Valley wine Auction
St. Helena, California

Posted on March 10, 2020
California, Couples, Default, Etiquette, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Suits, Toys, Women

Though I’d Always Pictured You As More of a Titmouse

Suit on cell: Wait, while I’ve got you on the phone, what’s your animal spirit name? … Ah, ‘White Wolf’ — of course. All right, see you then.

Coffee shop
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Baffled Bear

Posted on February 17, 2020
Animals, Default, Indiana, Names, On the phone, Questions, Suits

The Peer Pressure Is Overwhelming

20-something suit on cell (angrily): But mom, you don't understand! Everyone I know is already on the folk dancing team!

Brigham Young University
Provo, Utah

Posted on January 16, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Dancing, Default, Gripes, On the phone, Suits, Utah

I’m the Thing I Have Sex to Forget About

Suit: I can’t masturbate to a picture of myself!

Maine

Posted on November 25, 2019
Maine, Masturbation, Suits

Lucy and Ethel Have a Serious Falling-out

Well dressed woman on cell: No, no, no. That’s the problem, I can’t just shoot her because she is on my property. She has to be like breaking into the house or something… We’ll have to find another way.

Maket East Train Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on September 19, 2019
Crimes, Default, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Suits, Train, Violence, Women

Only a Few Orthodonists Do That

Suit walking with lady suit: Well, for that my friend went to this guy downtown and really liked him, but, um, just don’t expect flowers after.

Penrose Hospital
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Posted on July 26, 2019
Advice, Colorado, Suits

In the Same Sense That Root Beer Is Beer

Suit: Hey, Rich, will you eat a cheese steak? It’s like a salad, except it’s a cheese steak.

25 Hudson Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on February 20, 2019
Food, New Jersey, Suits

All I Have to Do Is Stand in a Phone Booth and Take Off My Glasses

Suit #1: You gotta stop traveling and eating out like this. You’re starting to pack it on.
Suit #2, slapping his stomach: Nah, after seven p.m. all this turns to dick.

Steakhouse
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Poor Bastard

Posted on October 29, 2018
Advice, Bragging, Suits, Washington, DC

While I'm Sober, for Once.

Suit lady #1: So how was your weekend?
Suit lady #2: Oh, it was really good. I went to a jail.
Suit lady #1: Really? I've never been to a jail.
Suit lady #2: Yeah, neither had I… it was really good.
Suit lady #1: I've always wanted to go to a jail.
Suit lady #2: Yeah, you probably will… I thought “Seeing as I'm putting people in there, I should probably find out what it's like.”

Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Cassie Barlow

Posted on September 29, 2018
Australia, Crimes, Questions, Suits, Weirdness, Wishes

Suits