Mother: So Krusty couldn’t find his star in the Jewish Hall of Fame.
Boy: There was a Jewish Hall of Fame?
Mother: Yeah, and Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop were there.
Father: Lamb Chop was a Jewish lamb?
–Windsor Terrace
Mother: So Krusty couldn’t find his star in the Jewish Hall of Fame.
Boy: There was a Jewish Hall of Fame?
Mother: Yeah, and Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop were there.
Father: Lamb Chop was a Jewish lamb?
–Windsor Terrace
The creators of this site were just on Air America’s Morning Sedition(listen here).
As the producer spoke to Marc Maron about the previous guest, he observed: I think [last place Mayoral candidate] Weiner has a very smart strategy. He’s constantly pointing out that Mayor Bloomberg is a Republican.
–Vox Pop, Flatbush
Woman: I stopped smoking six months ago, and now I’m lubricating so much better. I’m always wet at the right time.
–Lexington & 55th Deli
Guy: Is it raining?
Girl: No.
Guy: Then why the fuck am I getting wet?
Girl: Because it’s drizzling.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Guy #1: She says she usually needs to make out for like a half hour before she starts to get wet.
Guy #2: You should just use your spit.
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: J.
White guy: Did I tell you I met a White chick?
Girl: No…do you like her?
White guy: She’s cool. She’s from Brooklyn, so that softens the blow.
–Times Square
Man: Did anyone else notice my mother’s leopard print panties?
–1st Avenue & 10th Street
Girl on cell: Stop stealing Grandma’s condoms, you know she needs them more than you do. Do you want another mother?
–47th & 9th
Mom: Rules are so hard to keep track of and enforce. So I just don’t make any.
–Brooklyn Heights
Mom: Do you know what mental illness is? It’s not fun. You should know.
–F train
Guido on cell: My grandmother tore him a new asshole! You know what she’s like.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Vic Payback
Mom: Can we please watch the expletives? Did you hear what I said? Can we please watch the expletives?…Can you please stop giving me the finger?
–LIRR
Overheard by: CMichaels
Mom: Get out of the elevator, I want to look at the Marc Jacobs crap.
–Barney’s, Madison Avenue
Junk shop owner: No coffee?
Lady #1: We’ll have coffee tomorrow. Thursday.
Junk shop owner: Coffee at Starbucks is $5. Special coffee. Why don’t you go to your house, then your house, and your house?
Lady #2: Why don’t we come here?
Junk shop owner: You pick a date. I’ll sell you 4 chairs, $5.
Lady #2: What, you sit on them, they break?
Junk shop owner: We don’t sell chairs that break. How many people were in church? 10? I hear he’s gonna start counting how many people are going. What are they gonna do, close the church? Doesn’t anybody have a hook in the Father, know what’s going on?
Lady #1: Nobody goes anymore.
Junk shop owner: He has no activities for the people in the neighborhood! No card parties, no bingo…$150 per kid to make communion! Where the hell do you come off making a price like that?
Lady #2: I never heard of that.
Junk shop owner: Well, you heard it now.
–Carroll Gardens
Baby stroller #1: So I decided, what the hell, I’m just going to get a dildo.
Baby stroller #2: A what?
Baby stroller #1: A dildo.
Baby stroller #2: Oh. Yeah, totally.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Chris Genoa
Woman #1: See that guy in the wheelchair? I think he’s starting to get involved with dealing drugs or something.
Woman #2: Well, I wouldn’t hang around him too much anyway if I were
you. Clearly he couldn’t run away fast enough the first time…
–Fort Greene
Butcher: Would you like anything else today?
Lady: Not that I can think of. As a matter of fact I haven’t really been able to think of much all day. Must be all the vicodin….So how do I prepare this?
Butcher: It’s lunchmeat. You just eat it.
–Greenpoint market
Street vendor: I don’t have kids, I would never have kids. Well, unless Jesus Christ himself comes down to earth and says, “Kev, it’s me, Jesus. I think you should have kids.” Then I would consider it.
–46th & 6th
Businesslady: So I says to her, “Girl, you’ve gotta pray. You gotta get Jesus in your fucking life.”
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Joel Warden
Woman: It was as if I had fallen into a Hell Pit, or something like that.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: MissHell
