Old lady #1: … And now he’s crippled!
Old lady #2: Well, of course he is. That’s what God does to people who get divorced.
Old lady #1: That’s true.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Voudou

Crazy: … And we got to thank God! Thank him for the babies, for all our little children…! And we got to thank Him for creating sexual intercourse so we can make those babies! And we got to thank God for French fries!

UC Berkeley

Overheard by: Lauren agrees with this Man

Professor: No, pondering eternal truths is not a good excuse for missing my class…I'd need a signed note from god.

Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: JQ

Catholic school girl #1: (sings “Total Eclipse of the Heart”)
Catholic school girl #2: Stop it. I swear to god, I will shank you.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Adelaie

Professor, whispering: What is god doing with female breasts?

Oglethorpe University
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Caylin

Teenage girl: God is in every queef.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Girl to pregnant friend: You're just like Mary, mother of Jesus…except she knew who the father was.


Teenage girl: But you don't actually believe god made the world in seven days.
Teenage boy: No.
Teenage girl: And you believe in evolution and the dinosaurs?
Teenage boy: Yes.
Teenage girl: How come?
Teenage boy: Because a world that never had dinosaurs is a world I want no part of.


Little boy in ladies' room stall : You know mom, in Europe all the bathrooms are unisex.
Mom: Probably why it's such a godless country.

Greensboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: diesel

Teen girl #1: Remember when you were Jesus and I was Satan?
Teen girl #2: Yeah.

Upper Hutt
New Zealand

Overheard by: Schmitty