Little old lady #1: Every daughter is a daughter of the Man!
Little old lady #2: True, very true.

–112th & Broadway

Overheard by: Bad Minkey

Boy, after watching An Inconvenient Truth: Do you believe in god?
Girl: I believe in mother nature.
Boy: You don’t believe in god?
Girl: I mean, I do… But I believe this is happening because of nature.
Boy: But you believe in her?
Girl: What?
Boy: Mother nature?
Girl: Mother nature is not like a person… It’s just a saying for nature.
Boy: Wait… What? Oh… (pause) I thought she was like a tree or something.

–Regal Cinema, Union Square

Overheard by: Noeman Samdani

Teen boy: Do you know where I can find those Communion wafers? I want to eat them with salsa.
Friend: Um, you can’t just eat those. It’s the body of Christ.

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Jason
Headline by: Bored Beyond Belief 

· “Besides, Three Days Later You’ll Be Hungry Again” — Sparky
· “…And After Three days, He Arose, with Craving for Pico de Gallo” — Russ Wall
· “…And They’re 2000 Years Past Their Expiration Date” — John
· “And Stop Putting Salt on the Rim of the Chalice” — Amy Stephenson
· “Betcha Can’t Transubstantiate Just One” — chris
· “Body of Satan Has More Tang Anyway” — Jessica
· “Friends Don’t Let Friends Go to Church Stoned” — Pix
· “If Jesus Wanted Us to Eat Him with Salsa, He’d Be Appearing on Tortillas.… Oh… Wait.” — ilemanzer
· “Look for the Bag Marked ‘Corpus Crispy’ ” — Slept thru the Sermon
· “My God Stays Crunchy in Milk” — Benedict
· “That’s What You Said about the Last Donut, Too” — SDP
· “The Next Special Ingredient on Iron Chef” — dan
· “They’re Best Served with Dogma” — zg
· “Try the Taco Bells of St. Mary’s” — jules

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Hobo, yelling on the train: Oh, god, I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes. This is all my fault, but if you could just give me something to eat for lunch, or a nickel, anything!
(girl offers him an orange from her bag)
Hobo: No, that ain’t food. Thanks anyway.

–Downtown R Train

Overheard by: Kinda have to agree

Evangelist outside gym: You want to be a macho man? Look at Jesus!

–Broadway & Prince

Street evangelist on microphone: Y’all ever see two female pigeons in bed together?

–Fordham Plaza

Very agitated priest: Jesus was a zygote once – what if Mary aborted him?

–St. Luke’s Church, Whitestone

Crazy subway evangelist: If god could make me a good crackhead, you best believe he could make me a good preacher.

–E Train

Overheard by: Giggling at crack

Preacher: And that’s why your religion is null and void.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Alfie

Hipster chick: Popping a blister is like smacking god in the face!

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Alice

Homeless man on train begging for money by telling jokes: A black man and a white man go into a bar. They get into a fight with each other. And then they die. And then they go to heaven and god says to them: “What it is… what it is!”

–1 Train

Overheard by: Kristin

Girl to friend: I’m gonna have to get ghetto on god!

–61st & Broadway

Overheard by: lizzerd

Homeless man says to homeless woman: Now, these people are trying to hoodwink god!

–Seventh Ave & Lincoln Place, Park Slope

Overheard by: Annie

Professor to students: God is not a drug dealer!

–Fordham University

Evangelist standing on a bench: I was born under the Lord, I’ve lived under the Lord, and I’ll die under the Lord.
Drunk walking by: Die, we don’t give a fuck!

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Michael A McCormick

Pagans Are Even Worse

Woman in stall to sneezing woman: God bless you.
Sneezing woman: I’m atheist!

–Public Bathroom, 34th St & Broadway

Overheard by: smal

Hobo: Fuck God! I am God, and God is dead.

–Bedford Ave, Williamsburg

Guy: God, hipsters will nod their heads to anything.

–Central Park SummerStage