Three-year-old girl: Daddy, I like flying.
Father: Why is that, honey?
Three-year-old girl: I like looking at the clouds. They are god's house.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Heather
Three-year-old girl: Daddy, I like flying.
Father: Why is that, honey?
Three-year-old girl: I like looking at the clouds. They are god's house.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Heather
Player: Nah, I don’t really think I’m God. More like one of his disciples.
–Coffee Shop, Union Square
Overheard by: Ashley
Father: For the last time, God is not the president! They are not the same thing!
Little boy: Okay, so nobody is God.
Father: No, that is not what I said. God looks like different things to different people.
Little boy: I think God looks like… um… happy…
Father: Whatever.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Lori
Drunk guy: King Kong ain’t got nothing on God almighty!
Sober girl: Stop touching me, you dirty old man.
Drunk guy: I ain’t touching you, woman.
Sober girl: I don’t do trash.
Drunk guy: That’s why I wanchu.
–Q train
Overheard by: Ted Danger, esq.
Guy: My wife is just a hoot. She just tries and tries to undermine me.
–Craft, E. 19th Street
Girl: She’s into God and stuff like that. I hate that shit.
–C train
Overheard by: jason steinhauer
Slut: …all I know is that it’s $40,000 and you’ve gotta buy him breakfast in the morning.
–Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Automated voice on PA: Register Nine.
Toddler: Whoa! What was that?
Mom: That’s the voice of God telling you what to do.
Automated voice: Register Four.
Mom: See, there it is again. You better listen.
–Whole Foods, Houston
Overheard by: Alienswede
Girl #1: Oh my god! God really hates us atheists.
Girl #2: Yeah, word.
–63rd Drive
Protestant street preacher with mic: You’re going down the Broadway to Hell.
–42nd & 8th
Subway preacher: When you buy a tree and put that in your house, and when you put all the presents under the tree, that’s all for Satan, not for Jesus. One day I was thinking about how the name Santa looks familiar, and I’m thinking to myself, Goddammit… No, wait, sorry. I’m thinking to myself, Santa… No, that’s Satan. You see? They kept the S but they just changed all the rest of the letters around.
–Brooklyn-bound C train
Overheard by: P. Mills
Suit on cell: The only thing is, she’s so innocent. I need someone to curse at me and spit in my face. I need some rough, yelling-at-each-other sex. I’m like Satan and she’s the Virgin Mary.
–Metro-North train, Grand Central
Hardhat: I don’t know if I’m going to heaven; I don’t know if I’m going to hell… All I know is I have to change at Jamaica.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Rob
Yuppie woman talking to herself: The devil is a liar — a fucking liar!
–Outside Lincoln Plaza Theatre
Overheard by: SLC kid
Teacher: I’m going to burn in Hell for this… Wait! I’m Jewish! I don’t believe in Hell! I’m not going to burn! Yay!
–Hunter College High
Indian-looking woman in sari: Achoo! (sneezes)
Man: Bless you.
Indian-looking woman in sari: Oh, no. Thank you.
–Busy Laundromat, Astoria
Man #1: I went to confession, to a priest. I unloaded some pretty bad things I done. He was a Jesuit, this priest was. He knew I was feeling bad, so he told me not to be hard on myself, that God loves me no matter what. Then he said God loves all of us, that he loved Hitler just as much as the Blessed Mother.
Man #2: That’s some pretty heavy shit. I’ll tell you this, if I were that priest I wouldn’t say that at a synagogue.
Man #1: Jeez, I didn’t think of that.
–Carnegie Deli, 7th Avenue
