Frat Boys

Frat tourist guy: Hey! I just hailed a New York City cab!
New Yorker, jumping into cab: I just stole your cab!

–Bleecker & Hudson

Overheard by: sean

Frat boy #1: If he kills me, I will kill him!
Frat boy #2: Oh, that makes a lot of sense.

–NYU Bus

Overheard by: ihatevegs

Frat boy #1: Dude, I grabbed six asses last night, but three of them caught me.
Frat boy #2: I only grabbed three asses, but one of them was hot!

–R train

Overheard by: not impressed

Sulky waitress at family restaurant, complaining about management: I could be home right now having a threesome, but Chris won't let me leave.

–Astoria, Queens

Overheard by: Inkling

35-year-old camp Asian man on cell: Yo, girl! (pause) Hell no, I have no idea what shit went down last night. (pause) Oh-em-gee! All I know is I woke up with five guys.

–R Train

Overheard by: Abby and Holly

20-something college boy: I mean, there's no "I" in "threesome."

–Union Square

Guy to his friends: Yeah, I haven't decided what guy I would tag-team a girl with yet.

–Hairy Monk, 25th & 3rd

African American guy to hipster girl: It was the worst orgy I've ever been to. Nothing but kids and clothes everywhere you looked.

–48th St & Broadway

Overheard by: RevLina, The Pain-Proof Girl

Frat boy #1: She smelled like… You know that smell, when you eat asparagus, and then take a piss.
Frat boy #2: No, wait, I kinda like that smell.

–10th & 1st

Overheard by: Katie

NYU boy: What are you guys doing tonight?
NYU girl: We might be going to a frat party in Queens.
NYU boy: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
NYU girl: You wanna go?
NYU boy: Yeah, sure.

–3rd Ave & 11th St

NYU guy #1: Yeah, she totally came!
NYU guy #2: Twice!

–Cloister Cafe

Fratboy: They’re going to tear that building down, because it’s seriously decrapitated. I mean, just totally decrapitated.

–BAM Cinematek

Girl on cell: He’s going to hell and I don’t even care. He’s going to die and I’m fine with it.

–Houston & 1st Ave.

Guy: My mom was going through menopause, and I could totally relate.

–Lafayette & 3rd St.

Overheard by: Tedd

College student #1: Yeah, it was in Brooklyn. I had to take, like, the L. I've never even heard of that!
College student #2: The L? Wow!

–NYU

Rastafarian man to white basketball female player with dreads: Hey! Why you white people always trying to look like me!

–Union Square

Black guy selling Empire State Building tickets: You're from Scotland? I love the Scots… They're puuuuuuurrreee white!

–Outside Empire State Building

Black woman to another, about frat guys nearby: Man, white people are so loud.

–109th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Becks

Black hobo to white teen: Get out of this neighborhood with your white crotch! You don't belong here!

–Upper West Side

Black woman to cops walking away: But I'm a Caucasian!

–Bed-Stuy