College bro: No, you don't understand. Thinking about the processes of government turns me on.
College chick: Really?
College bro: For serious. I think about dick Cheney and I get hard. I would vote for him and give up my right to vote if he could be supreme dictator.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: theclanmacgregor
Frat boy: If you press your thumb hard in the middle of your forehead it stops your gag reflex for a minute.
Girl: Uhhh how do you know that?
Frat boy: I learned it at my frat, you can swallow a whole banana!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: JC
NYU guy on cell: Hey dude, I just wanted you to know that I left my burrito in your fridge. Yeah, I'll come around next Tuesday to pick it up.
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Julium
Rotund old woman at lesbian hipster cafe: Give me a sesame bagel, pound it down till it's flat, then toast it till it has a nice rich brown coating. And please, a coffee with cream. Make it a nice tan color.
–Paradise Cafe, 8th & 17th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Middle aged dad, yelling while crossing street with sons: I will learn to make Pad Thai!
–Union Square
Girl on phone: But seriously, you give me good food, and there's a pretty good chance I'll have a thing for you.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: molly
Man: You know, when I was 25 all I thought about was spending the night at the Playboy mansion. And now I'm 35, and all I really want to do is eat barbecue.
–Hill Country BBQ
Overheard by: I'm just here for the ribs.
NYU guy #1: You know it's impossible to swallow a whole teaspoon of cinnamon?
NYU guy #2: Wait, why not?
NYU guy #1: Because it accumulates into clumps and dries up your mouth.
NYU guy #2: Oh, cinnamon! I thought you said “semen.” I was going to be like “Yes you can!”
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Angry frat boy: Oh, so now I’m the bad guy? Let’s talk about you and your irrational pregnancy!
–Grand Central
Tween to friends: So, do you think I should get an abortion? I mean, I’m not even pregnant!
–TGI Fridays
Overheard by: Sara
Giggling chick: When you get pregnant, the only things that swell are your breasts!
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Hannah
Female security guard to friend: I don’t think I’m pregnant. There’s no way I can be pregnant, because I was only having light sex.
–Duane Reade, 23rd & 6th
Overheard by: jmike
Happy lady on cell: Guess what?! I’m pregnant! Yes, with a baby this time!
–96th St station
Overheard by: Kind of Confused
20-something chick: If I get pregnant, I am so suing Fresh Direct.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
College boy #1: So, I went to this comedy club last night to see some friend’s routine..
College boy #2: Yeah?
College boy #1: Yeah. They were pretty good, but these girls also did a routine, and girls are never funny. And these girls were fat, too, so there was just really no upside to it.
College boy #2: Right.
–Dodge Fitness Center, Columbia University
College bro #1, walking quickly: And then we can cum on the floor!
College bro #2: Yeah, dude! Cum on the floor!
–University Place
Overheard by: Wondering Whose Floor
Dude: Do you mean the guy you threw up on?
Chick: Yeah, but not the frat boy, the other one.
–Silver building, NYU
Fratboy: A dude was walking around the dorm last night cradling a turd.
Chick: Eww! Like a real piece of poop?
Fratboy: Yeah, it was huge, really impresive.
Chick: Oh, that’s cool then.
Fratboy: At first I thought it was an otter.
–53rd & 10th
Overheard by: Bob Konkel
College girl, sniffing jacket sleeve: This smells bad.
College boy: Is it vomit?
College girl: No, because I didn't wear it last night.
–Greenwich & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Carla
